Oof, the week just flew by.

What's happening? Hmmm...

Hotel income has started slipping again, so the boss has been getting on me again. It's really frustrating because 90% of my suggestions have received his approval but he has yet to implement them. Yet here I am "not doing enough".


I'm telling myself to hang in there another year. One more and I can afford to take a long, long vacation.

Well, what else...

Well I applied for a loan, and was denied, of course. Years ago I let my Mom get a card out in my name, and let's just say that's yet to be payed off.

Hmm, that's not quite as horrible as it sounds. It's cost more then a couple of grand to raise me, after all. I'm not upset about it. Just poor. She said she'll pay me back when she sells her house, so, fair enough.

I've taken to spending a lot of time in bookstores after work. Every day I pick a new subject, and I spend a couple of hours reading up about it. I found the one chair in the store that's right next to an outlet, so after reading I relax and catch up on my RSS Feeds, do some more research, and even occasionally get some work done.

Seeing as how creativity has seemed to be my one saving grace around here, I've mostly been reading up on digital graphics and such. Right now I'm working on a model of the hotel in Google's Sketchup, so I can show off a few of my renovation ideas. I'm also trying to produce a short promotional video for the place.

I ran into an ex-coworker at the bookstore the other day. I think I wrote some entries about her a couple of years ago.

[Recap- Really religious, in her 30's, but still acted extremely immature. After her firing, we ran into each other a year ago- in the same store, as a matter of fact. I tried being friendly with her, and we hung out for an afternoon. She never called me back, and I didn't mind much and pretty much forgot about her. ]

But boy, when she saw me again, she was freakin' seething with anger.

In the face of my indifference, it was pretty startling. How the hell can she carry so much ill will after all this time? That must be pretty stressful. And I wasn't even sure why she was angry with me. I tried finding out, just to satisfy my own curiosity, but I couldn't get anything but insults.

Ah well. Not everyone can see how fantastic and Great I am. Plus I'm a genius.


Shiny- let's be Bad Guys.

Just watched Serenity again, and was struck, as always, by just how fantastic and damn-near perfect it is. People are idiots for not making it more of a financial success, but I suppose a lot of the the greatest things never are.

I recently got an email asking me an interesting question. Basically, with all my talk about gadgets and scifi and stuff, had anyone accused me of being Too Tomboyish?

I hadn't really thought too much about that before, so I took a couple of days to ponder on it before putting a semi-coherent answer together. It's funny, but thinking back I distinctly recall being a lot more "feminine" in more ways than I am now.

Just read some of my really old blog entries- going on and on about make up and Seventeen magazine and all that crap. I was more shy, more introverted, really sensitive, and my mannerisms were a tad more flamboyant.

As I aged and the hormones started altering my body, I think I felt confident enough to come out of my shell to express myself- Myself being a geeky gadget nut who builds little robots in her spare time.

Maybe it's the Aquarian part of me that gets a kick out of not conforming to typical stereotypes- I wear 3 wristwatches at a time, have a fascination with aviation goggles that borders on the obscene, and my purse doubles as a Tool box.

As much as I complain and get depressed about not fitting in, being shoved into a little box would be too claustrophobic for me. But I'm still evolving, still changing with the years. Who knows? Maybe in a decade or so I'll go the complete opposite way and be a Stepford Wife.

Well anyhoo, time to get back to my steam powered scooter which I'll use to lead my Robot Minions into battle for World Domination.

Catch me on the News later- Chow!



Mmmm, I rolled my own Avocado Sushi, fried up some Chinese Sausage, and made myself a Lychee Martini. Does life get any better?



Anyhoo, so that was good. I can't believe it's been so long since I've gone out to eat. I'm actually surviving, somehow!

In other news, Emmy had said she was thinking about joining me in Thailand for about a week. I thought that was really sweet of her to offer, and I'd love it if she was able to make it. It might be a little less scary with a little bit of companionship.

Have I mentioned how glad I am she's back in my life?



Ahhh, Particle Accelerators... Is there nothing they can't do?


! No...It couldn't be... Could it?

(It's not ;)

Coincidentally, just out of frame to the left is the Flagship SF Apple Store.

Right after this Pic was taken he called me Rude!


I'm rather proud of myself, resisting the temptation to eat out and have been making my own food for the past couple of weeks.

Now that I got an electrician to redo some of the wiring around here, I can now run a hot plate or a microwave without blowing a fuse.

Mostly it's vegetarian based- they've done amazing things with the almighty soy bean. A "steak" stir fry I cooked up almost tasted like the real thing.

I'm not a Good Cook, by any means. It's all just thrown together and comes out rather plain, but the fact that I saved a ton of money by eating in seems to make up for it.

Tonight? Sushi!


About Time

Well, for once I'm not hung over after a night of partying. Just
soooooo tired.

After work I saw jumper yesterday. Not as horrible as I imagined it
would be after reading the reviews, but then again I have the ability
to check my brain at the door.

After that I had to rush over to meet The Vegan where we did some
shopping at Rainbow, a Cooperative run Organic grocery store. Whew,
talk about Hippy Central. Lot of cuties, though.

So then we took our Meatless fixins home where I met with a couple of
other friends and cooked for a group for the first time in my life.

Well, maybe making Salads and (microwaved) Veggie Burgers isn't
technically cooking, but I was all ready to cook up some tofu stirfry
but everyone was already stuffed.

And finally, I met up with Emmy. And I was whole again.

(Yeah, I think I may be slightly codependent)

Too begin with, I finally found out what happen, and rather then some
sort of metaphysical spiritual evolution, it was a sequence of

Apparently she misheard a comment I made and thought I said something
rather lewd, and then later, got some anonymous Emails that creeped
her out and thought they were mine.

Weird, but the past is done, and we hung out and partied late into
tomorrow. It was the same club, but it wasn't Bondage-a-go-go night.
It was an 18+ Hip-hop event and we spent less then 10 minutes dancing
and more time just talking over drinks.

I'm proud to say I only had 1 and a 1/2. I did share a cigarette.
Slippery slope... I did find it highly disgusting, though, if that

Some girl just walked up to me, said "Can I have these?", and without
waiting for an answer, took my freakin' Cat Ears and dissapeared onto
the dance floor.

First time I was ever mugged... I eventually tracked her down and
took em' back. Jeez, she looked like she wanted to shoot me.

And finally, Emmy and I wrapped up the night at Denny's, and I got to
bed around 5am.

We shared a lot last night, and I'm really glad to have her back in my

This time I won't take it for granted.

Sent from my iPhone



No sooner than when I stop to take a breath after whining about being
lonely, I suddenly find I have a full social calender tonight.

First I'm having a late Lunch & a Movie with The Vegan, then I'm
having dinner with the her Ex, who might bring along her effeminate
conservative Republican friend. (We seem to have interesting debates
and conversations- he's joined the Cult of Mac, too!)

And then its dressin' up to go clubbing with Emmy.

After tonight, I think my socialization qouta for the Winter will be
taken care of. I'll probably be sick of people again by tomorrow

Chow for now-

Sent from my iPhone

Happy Valentine's Day

Hmm, I think its funny that I'm now 25, and yet to ever be in a
relationship that coincided with V-Day.

So, I've never had or been a Valentine. Hehe. Hilarious.

Or sad. Feels the same, sometime.

My Valentine to myself? 'Jumper'!

Its gotten terrible reviews, but then again, so did 'The Mummy'
movies, and I've seen 'em dozens of times.

Sent from my iPhone



It's amazing how kids today are getting Cell Phones almost as soon as they can talk. I've been carrying one frequently for about five years now, and not having one for a few days was quite an experience.

We seem to take for granted the ability of near-instant communication. I suppose that's fitting considering that we're entering the age of Aquarius, which Communication is a major theme of. Pretty soon we'll probably be using some form of electronic telepathy.

Anyway, so I got a call from my Doc yesterday. Apparently my Insurance is trying to get out of paying. Well.... that was quick. I swear, these insurance companies are the biggest scams on the planet.

Ah well, let's see how this one plays out.



> Well, looks like I was able to get it activated afterall. And after
> a simple restore, I got all my texts, contacts, etc back.
> I didn't have a very large music collection, so now I can fit the
> whole thing on here with room for video.
> I'll always miss my original baby. I waited in line for 20 hours
> for it! Even when I found a dead pixel I still kept it because I
> suffered for it.
> (Maybe that's why Mom loves me so much- she was in labor for a
> looong times, with no meds.)
> I also notice that some of the buttons "click" differently. Well,
> I'm sure I'll get used to it pretty quickly.
> ----------------------------
> Sent from my iPhone, Biotch!

Patience is not one of my stronger aspects. After getting paid I just couldn't wait for a Snail Mailed iPhone. Miles be Damned- To the Apple Store!

The girl working the checkout counter was none other than a woman I used to work with at the Restaurant all those moons ago. I couldn't remember her name for the life of me, but I was pleasantly surprised that she remembered mine.

I always imagined myself a Ghost working there, barely perceptible.

I had just got off of work and was kind of down and unconfident, so I was pretty nervous about suddenly being in a conversation I didn't plan out. In those kind of situations I tend to avoid eye contact. For some reason my eyes always go towards the chest area. With guys it's fine but talking to a girl, you see how that can get kind of weird.

She had an electronic gizmo she was playing with at chest level though, so hopefully I didn't weird her out too much.

So, we had a fairly standard "Oh, wow, nice to see you again, what have you been up to?" superficial kind of conversation.

And that was that. I regret not being a little more dynamic, though.

Anyhoo, I now have my 16GB iPhone. And right now, it's about as handy as a shiny paperweight. I have to pay off my phone bill before it will let me activate it, but I can't do that until tomorrow.

*sigh* C'est la vie. I suppose that, patient or not, waiting is inevitable.

At least it's pretty...



Today was a pretty good day.

It was sunny and warmer than it's been in a long time. Breaking from tradition, I took my Sunday walk down through the Mission. It was very pleasant, what with the weather and the ambiance.

As my mind wandered, I got to thinking about my iPhone again, and how this week I was planning on walking into an Apple Store to get a new one. But then I remembered! If I buy it through the ONLINE Apple Store, I can earn Frequent Flier Miles!

It would mean I'd have to wait a few extra days, but it'll be just about worth it. That's basically a 'free' Vegas flight right there. Though I'll probably save them, though.

Returning home, I saw I had an email from a visitor to my flickr page. Apparently I inspired him to paint a little portrait of me, which he included a picture of. I can't even begin to describe how flattering that was. There's so much talent and creativity in this world- it's really quite amazing.

There was something else waiting in my inbox- Emmy replied to my email.

Seven and a half months later and I finally hear from her. I felt thrilled, like a kid opening up a Christmas gift. She said that she was touched, and we should grab some coffee sometime.

On the one hand, I poured out my heart working on that Goodbye letter. I described how I felt, and said how much I appreciated our friendship, how I'd never forget her, how she changed me for the better, and ultimately, that maybe our splitting ways was for the best and would help us grow and evolve.

On the other hand, though, I miss her so much. I'd love to see her again, seeing as how last time, I didn't know that would be the last. I have questions- I'd like to know 'Why', for starters. But I also want to know what she's been up to, how she's feeling. How her day was...

Heh, who am I kidding? Of course I'm going to see her again, and as soon as I get my phone back, I'll set up a coffee date.


Forgot to mention that I slipped a little. Almost six months without a cigarette and I seem to recall sharing one with somebody at my birthday party after I was already three sheets to the wind.

I wish I could I remember it more. I only have glimpses of complete satisfaction, and I remember that it was over way too quick. (Yes, I'm still talking about smoking.)

*sigh* Maybe I can start a new Birthday tradition- one cigarette per birthday. Might be a slippery slope, but where's the fun in living without a few vices?


Science Marches On

I recently discovered one of Mankind's Greatest Inventions- Pankcakes in a can! Now for breakfast I just squirt a bit into a skillet from the whip-cream like can, and a few minutes later I've got a fluffy snack.

Throw in in some pre-mixed scrambled omelet batter in a box and I've got a breakfast.

And no Mess to clean up aside from the frying pan.

Remarkable. The 21st century does show some promise after all.

Into day 2 without my iPhone and I'm starting to feel like I've been stranded on a desert island. A desert island with people, food, water, shelter, and not really an island, but nonetheless I feel a little lost, disconnected. What if I get Hit and Run in some remote side street and can't call for help?

It's also slightly uncomfortable having my bubble popped. You know, that bubble where you put on shades and crank the music and pretend like you can't hear the rest of the world. I've noticed I'm getting hit on a lot more now that it looks like I'm not busy. Maybe I should just wear headphones everywhere.

For my Birthday, my boss invited me to a dinner party he was having with some friends. That was nice. He even did a little toast to me, saying that I was a valued employee and all around good person- that kind of stuff.

It felt nice, being appreciated.

I've been so busy lately that I've fallen out of touch of my RSS feeds- I just found out today there's a 16gb iPhone now! Hmm, maybe this was fate's way of saying it was time for an upgrade... My Future may depend on it!


I lost my Baby!

Well, I started drinking around 10PM last night, so I got my wish of ringing in my 25th year completely wasted. Was it worth it? Well, Hindsight is always 20/20...

I did have fun- how can you not when dressed in your sluttiest finery and drunk, rocking out to strobe lights and some rhythmic noise. I think I looked really hot- I finally achieved that perfect Smokey-eye make-up effect, for the first and probably last time.

I had scheduled myself off work today, but my boss reminded me how busy today was so I canceled it. So I got to bed around 3, and commenced the vomiting as soon as I arose. Seeing that I was a little under the weather, the boss let me come in at noon, so I rested up and now I'm feeling a little better.

The worse part of last night? I...LOST...my...Fricken'...iPHONE!

I deactivated it pretty easily online, and the Taxi company doesn't seem to have it. I'll try the club when it opens up.

But, I'm not holding out too much hope. Even upright citizens would have a hard time turning down a free technological marvel retailing at around $400.

I'm going to have to get a new one- that device is so entrenched in my life, I'm lost without it. (Literally- why remember where anything is when you have Google Maps with you all the time?) Plus contact numbers for work, etc.

The problem is I can't really afford it. See, my surgeon will raise his prices at the end of April, so as long as I pay off the rest before then, I'm fine. After that though, I'll have to pay the extra.

Hmm, we seem to have a good rapport- maybe he'll let me pay 95% before April and the other 5% when I get there in May. If not, I may need to get a Credit Card.


As my birthday draws near, I find myself thinking about Emmy. As we have the same birthday, ever since I moved to San Francisco, I had someone to share a celebration with.

I got a little depressed, and found myself missing her again. And I can't do this anymore- I need some closure. So I wrote an email speaking my peace, and hopefully I'll move on.


Here I am, watching the Super Bowl. I completely forgot about it until just now- just in time for the beginning of Half-Time. Guess I can make a quick snack run.

I'm not really a football fan, but the Super Bowl is something of a tradition with me.

I feel pretty excited- today marked 99 Days until my Thailand trip. Double Digits, now. I stared in the mirror for awhile, musing. I'm not expecting anything dramatic, besides a larger chest. I'm fairly certain face-wise it'll be pretty subtle.

I read sowewhere that going under the knife was considered some kind of TG rite of passage. Fairly ridiculous, methinks, but still it's nice to know I'm working towards a goal and I'm not standing still.

Forgot to mention that January 22nd marked 8* Years on HRT. Unbelievable... It's taken awhile, a lot longer then I originally thought, but I'm on my way. I don't know how I'd do it without my cushy job. Ahhh, it feels good to be employed.

* Actually "only" seven. Got a little ahead of myself.


Bitchy- A Haiku

MySpaced school bully

An evil part of me Smirked

She's put on some weight


Here we are again, at the dawn of a new month.

I was filling out an online registration form and I had to pick my age range- 15-24 or 25-34. And then I got depressed. 25. I'm entering a new demographic. I'm a freakin' adult! When the Hell did that happen? Will the next twenty years fly by just as quickly as the previous?

I started to take an inventory of my life, and started to feel a bit claustrophobic. Guess I won't be an Astronaut or a Time Traveler after all. (I still hold out hope for the latter.) I'm imagining my life crystallizing, solidifying, becoming less fluid with less possibilities. Is this what a mid-life crisis feels like?

Well, what can you besides take a few deep breaths and get on with your life? I don't think I can afford a Sports Car right now.