Holy Crap, where was Vienna my whole Mac life? I usually just read RSS feeds through my browser, but after coming across this little program I don't know how I got by without it.

He Returns!

So guess what? MIKE just wrote me! Longtime readers might recall him as my one friend (such as he was) from my high school years in Virginia, and many of my old Geocity entries concerned the angst over how "mean" he was to me.

Last time I heard from him was an email back in September 2003. That month, you can also read about me "finally" settling on a career choice (don't even remember what that was, now) my hatred of Macs, and my first pair of high heels.

Boy, I thought I knew everything in September of 2003... I had no way of knowing I wouldn't REALLY know everything until March, 2005.

Anyhoo, Mike and I had something of a falling out after he ditched me in a small town hours away from home, and as I moved away and he joined the military, we fell out of contact.

It was really great hearing from him again, so I sent a long email summing up the last four years as best I could, and included a few pics of the family and such. "Such" being pics of some of the 'h0T cHiXo0rS' I've had in the interval. Not that I was bragging, or anything...

I hope I hear back from him- I think it would be nice to stay in touch.


Kotaku Link

It's been a long time since I cried. I suppose it's comforting to know I'm still capable of it.


Happy Thanksgiving!

Or as Shana says, the day Animals died for your Grin.

So as I mentioned before, I wired my 10% deposit and secured my surgical date of May 17th.

I did a lot of research and talked with some satisfied patients, so I'm pretty confident with Dr. Chettawut's abilities, plus I've always wanted to go to Thailand...

I am imagining being terrified laying on the table in that moment before I lose consciousness though, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.



Well, 'The Mist' was interesting. I liked it, but I had to think about WHY I liked it.

I guess it was because the "Monsters" almost took a backseat to the human drama. How normal people can revert to primal ways, and how dangerous they can be.

And the ending was... Ah, ironic? I don't know. I didn't think it was totally awful- I was expecting worse based on some Reviews.

So there we go. Obviously I'm not going to make a living as a movie critic anytime soon, but to sum up, though it made me feel sad for the human race, I got a couple of somewhat enjoyable hours out of it.

Well while I was eating the Chinese I saw that 'The Mist' was out, so
I decided to see it on an impulse.

At the theatre now.

The reviews seem mixed to poor, but I'm a sucker for interdimensional
doorways being opened with disastrous consequences.

Apparently the ending is supposed to suck, or be some sort of 'Bold
Decision'. We'll see...

Sent from my iPhone


Oof, had another Laser Hair Removal Appointment today. It's been awhile, but now it's time for another few rounds of treatment.

Not too bad, now. With some hydro-cortisone it's barely red.

In other news, I just got a 3G cellular broadband card for my Macbook, so now I have highspeed without being tethered to wifi. The method I used to route the Hotel's internet up to my room through the powerlines has been acting spotty since day one.

It's sad, going to bed early just because the internet doesn't work :(

But no more! Woo Hoo!

Hmm, and back to TG news, I have made a deposit and confirmed my Cosmetic surgery date.

Oops, Chinese food is here. More details to come...

About the surgery stuff, not the Chinese. ...Though food blogs are pretty popular.




Here we are, one step closer to a portable compendium of all written knowledge. ...With a small fee, of course.

I thought the NewsWeek article was a good read as well.

I've got Gadget Fever.


Well, solitude is nice, but it's still cool to talk and hang out with someone. 'The Vegan', 'Shana', who used to work here a long time ago has come back to town. We used to argue all the time- I believe in scientific and technological advancement, she thinks people should live in small villages and forage.

But eventually we worked through our differences and became friends. She was my first "alternative" friend, being some sort of tofu-loving-hippy-lesbian. And Shana also happened be the only friend I made here that didn't take advantage of me, which was refreshing.

She's bummed around the world for a bit and after trying to live in Chicago, which she found horrible, she's decided to move back here.

She bought me dinner yesterday- Vegan only, of course. But it was still filling and better then Ramen.


It's interesting, being poor again. It was nice to reach the point where I could go out to eat every night, and make a nice upper-middle class purchase every week. To just walk around downtown until I saw something nice in a window, and wear it home.

And I could keep living that way, and get to my target savings goal in 2018, or so. To accelerate that time line, I've gone on "autopilot". (If you saw the Adam Sandler movie 'Click', you know what I'm talking about. I liked that, BTW. Who would've guessed the Water Boy could make me cry?)

Basically I just drift through the day, keeping my head in the clouds so I don't get a craving for Duck Curry or some new boots.

I strictly budget money for groceries and bills, and a small weekly "allowance", and after it's gone, it's gone.

So I see my checking account balance at a little over $1, and my savings account balance next to it that's a significantly higher number. And though I'm tempted to easily transfer the funds over, I know that's where it starts- those few dollars here and there.

The mindset I'm in now, that saving account might as well be light years away. It's untouchable. It's practically not even there.


I remember when Christmas was weeks of anticipation about what I'd be getting and shaking the wrapped gifts to guess what they were. Waking up early to see if Santa Clause had eaten the cookies.

It seemed like things were a lot less complicated when I was an only child.

Now it seems the Holidays are about ferrying messages back and forth between two ex-spouses who hate each other.

Dad is going to be going out to Florida too, for Christmas, and I had visions of us all being together again. But the tension lies in Mom not wanting Dad out of sight with the girls. She wants everyone together all the time, and that's not what Dad wanted to hear.

It's hard talking to my Dad when he's upset. He can get really, really nasty. I was trying to remain impartial and come to a compromise on all this, but it's not easy. He's paranoid, and seems to imagine everyone as monsters. And he really believes it, so it's pointless to argue with the accusations he makes, because they're "facts".

I don't really know where it stands, he was vague, as usual. He didn't exactly agree to the terms, but said he wants to see them.

So I don't know if that means he'll follow through on some sort of legal action he's been threatening or what.

I had to get out of the conversation when he started directing his anger towards me.

I just hope this all works out. This trip to Florida is also my vacation, and I just need a break sometime. I don't want to spend it stressed out and in the middle of all this.


I guess the lesson here is to don't get married.

Happy Holidays


I've always wanted my own Space Ship

As a supposed gadget nut and Tech-head, I think it's kind of funny that all my recent computers have only had about 1 gig of ram. I always tell myself I'll add the extra stick later, but I never seem to get around to it.

So I finally made the plunge the other day and now I'm "Rocking" two gigs in my MacBook Pro. It's helped out with an online game I've started playing called 'Eve Online'. I go by 'Luna Lunestra', 'Alexia Dark', and 'Death Hairball' if anyone wants to look me up (or donate some ISK to a n00b :)

It's so vast and complicated I'm still just trying to get the hang of it.

It costs about $15 a month, but I figure if it keeps me from going out for one dinner, it's already paid for itself.

Much like how I quit smoking, I've been setting little goals for myself to keep me indoors, seeing how many days can go by without stepping foot outside (Since I Live and Work in the Same place). Food Supplies- Low. But I think I can make it till Next paycheck.

It's odd, making all this money but living like I was when I first moved to San Francisco over three years ago.

To keep at it, I reward myself every couple of weeks with One night out to dinner and some Bargain Bin clothes shopping.

So far so Good, but it doesn't leave many adventures to write about.


Not much going on, but I'm making an effort to get a post up at least weekly.

I've been enjoying my solitude, and the money being saved by not going out. Ever since I decided to get some surgery done in a matter of a few months, I've been pretty pumped up about squeezing every dime I can out of my weekly expenditures.

I'm also trying to eat better, not with the goal of losing weight, but to just consume healthier foods. Instead of Pepsi, I've switched to sparkling water. Breakfast is fresh fruit and yogurt, and for lunch, more fruit, usually an avocado, and vegetable soup. And dinner lately has been salmon and vegetables- I think I need to learn some more recipes soon.

It's been over two weeks now, and still going strong. Mainly because I snack here and there on apple chips or tortillas and salsa, or cheese and crackers.

Mmmm, I think I'll grab some of that cheese now...


Jack Frost nipping

I was taking a walk after work to the Grocery store, and now that the clock was set back and the sky was darker, clear, and noticeably colder, I suddenly "felt" like the Holidays were upon us, like how a smell can trigger a memory.

In that instant I thought of snow, presents, and pumpkin pie. I thought of shopping and giving and receiving. And I felt the Bonds of Family.

There was also a tinge of bitter happiness, and a feeling of Fleeting Time, of loneliness, of good intentions met with indifference.

My earliest memory of my Mom holding me as she whispers that she has a surprise for me, and whisking away the curtains to show the lawn covered with snow.

I remember when I was 5, finding my presents stashed away in a closet, but purposely hiding them again, trying not to see what they were.

I recall sneaking outside into the Virginian dusk, flurries dancing in the wind, clutching a small hand wrapped present as I ran through the empty suburban streets towards my crushes house to drop it off in her mailbox.

In that chill, you really begin to appreciate even the promise of warmth. The smell of a fireplace, the glow from a house full of friends and family...

I think of gazing upon fresh snow and not wanting to see it destroyed, but then I make a snowman all the same. I think of that big box full of Holiday Greeting cards a coworker bought for everyone, and feeling more and more depressed as I leafed through the envelopes without seeing my name.

And I remember crying when Emmy gave me one, with a gift, too- the first I ever received from outside the family.

And most of all, I think of the innumerable times I stood outside in the dark, the cold, from Christmas Eve to New Year, closing my eyes, trying to find that smell of burning wood and taking a deep breath, then staring up at the stars while nursing a perpetually broken heart, remembering all the unfulfilled dreams of the previous year while designing new plans for the coming one.

And I remember idly wondering if this sadness is normal, and if it ever goes away. And I'd hug myself tight and stare at the stars some more before sighing and heading back inside, the heat an almost physical force that would engulf me like a giant fist as soon as I opened the door, and I'd give a little sigh- of comfort- as I kicked off my shoes.

Heh, funny how a cool breeze can invoke all of that.

Stay tuned

So as I said before, the original plan was to save up a big, round number, and combine a bit of travel with the surgical work I want done.

Well, I'm not getting any younger, and I've decided to move up my surgical time table for the cosmetic portion of the work. Right now I'm in contact with my thoroughly researched Doc, and we're possibly looking at Mid-May.

I got to thinking that it might be in my best interest to finish school before I head out, but I just couldn't see myself waiting that long to get this cosmetic stuff out of the way. So, I crunched the numbers and found I'd have more than enough by April.

Though my travel plans will be delayed, I think I'll be happier during the wait.

More details as they become more available.


What is it about european accents?

Well, I was a little disappointed Thursday because I wasn't hungover at all. Throwing up ever twenty minutes, though awful, at least means I had a pretty good time the previous night.

Even after downing a pint of rum and a few Vodka Rocks, I was still pretty sober and therefore didn't completly let loose like I did last year.

Anyway, after the Photo Shoot I walked downtown (wearing a long trench coat) to the Cat Club, which had a pretty long wait to get in. The guys in front of me were totally wasted and kept falling back into me and profusely apologizing.

It's the first time I ever went to a club alone, so without anyone to drag me out to the dance floor after I went in I grabbed a drink and spent most of the time on a bench in the corner.

I didn't mind too much, because I can be perfectly content to stay to myself and just people watch. What was kind of strange was people coming up to touch me, like I was a mannequin or something.

Maybe I looked glum, because one guy gave me a 'Everything's going to be alright' look and rubbed my shoulder, another one whispered in my ear how hot my stockings were and snapped them. Before I could react to either they had moved on.

I had noticed some guy in a skeleton mask occasionally hovering around me for about an hour before (I guess) he worked up the nerve to come talk to me. He was "in character" for a bit as a knife-wielding skeleton thing, which was kind of annoying, but after awhile he took off as the mask and we got to chatting, and we kind of had a lot in common.

Though, he's never seen any Indiana Jones movies. What's up with that?

He was from London, and kind of cute. I won't bore you with all the details, we just talked for almost two hours and then he walked me home. I had gotten hot in the club, so I kept my jacket off despite the chill outside and was greeted with every other car honking as it drove by.

Hehe, it was kind of an ego-boost.

Anyway, we exchanged email addresses. He was heading back to London the next day but offered to get me lunch sometime when he's back in town, and I agreed.

Pretty tame- No kisses or Blowjobs or anything.

And so ended Halloween 2007.