I really suffer a lot for this job, the 'off the record' stuff I have to deal with. I'm starting to feel fatigued from it all. I feel like some "spark" in me is dying.

Heh, maybe that's just the consequence of aging and living a (a)typical American Life.

I'm fighting to keep it alive, though. That little brush with internet fame awhile back has really given me the drive to focus more on my projects. I invested a bunch of my last paycheck into an Amazon shopping spree, buying the equipment necessary to puff out my lab bench a little.

Soldering Station, frequency generator, power tools, magnifying lamp, and a new Lab Coat (putting one on always inspires me) among some other miscellaneous.

Mmm, just thinking about it, I can feel that little spark getting brighter.


I'm Surrounded by Assholes!

YouTube- Space Balls clip

The problem with morons, besides putting up with their ineptitude, is that they tend to be vocal.

This job sure grates on me, sometimes. Today the boss mentioned a big reservation that's coming in June of 2009, and to make a note to remind him about it when the date rolls around.

And I found myself wondering if I'm still going to be here next summer. Another year? The thought made me a little anxious.

Besides 'Jewels', my coworkers are gossipy, conniving witches. I go through the surveillance footage and hear their vicious remarks and half-truths, and the hypocrisy boggles my mind. My biggest detractor is a woman who sleeps on the job (literally) and violently insults almost everyone who talks to her.

But oh well. That's life. I suppose I should be contented with the fact that even with the 15 plus year job experience here, I was still promoted over them (after a year) and make more than all of them combined.

Ugh, I know I sound kind of bitter, but it's just really stressful, knowing that every little interaction with these guys, no matter how inane or how nice they are to my face, will become the nights gossip when I clock out.

Ugh. Well, I did try to unwind a little- I just saw 'Burn After Reading' with Jewels, a dark comedy from the Cohen Brothers.

I enjoyed it, and though I laughed a lot during the movie, the final scene had me in stitches. The humor was compounded by the the comparison between me and my boss. If you see it, I'm the Agent that's trying to explain things to the head honcho as delicately as possible.


Vegas Recap

Oof- that's the last time I have six vodka rocks on a one and a half hour plane ride.

But I'm back home, relatively safe and sound.

Vegas was pretty low key. Mainly I did the touristy thing with 'Jewels', who had never been to Vegas. Did the rides, walked the strip, gorged at buffets. Oh God, that Bellagio Buffet- I'm glad I have a fast metabolism. I stuck with "surf", mainly- king crab legs, smoked salmon, shrimp... I'm getting hungry again just thinking about it.

It was kind of the off season, and we didn't have to deal with too many crowds or lines.

We went up to the top of the Stratosphere to do a couple of rides- we did the Big Shot, but chickened out of the Insanity and gave our tickets away. What was kind of cool though was that some Brazilian TV show was filming and I was sitting right next to the host, so if there's any South Americans reading, keep an eye out for me!

(I looked awful, though. I was hung over and the sun was glaring right into my eyes. Oh well)

We didn't gamble too much, but we play a little Roulette. I gave some of my money to Jewels and she lost it all, and then I just started betting on Red or Black. Hehe, that's pretty cheap. But I managed to win back enough to break even, which is when I quit.

I also won forty dollars at Black Jack- that was fun.

We didn't really go partying or anything. I was usually too tired.

I guess I really am a morning person, as I would naturally get up at six, and half to wait around til' noon before Adi and Jewel would drag themselves out of bed long enough to eat at a buffet and hit the sack again.


We still managed to have fun, though. Also I was able to see Dad and my brothers.

...And my new half-sister!

Yup, Dad's been busy and the Gene Pools' expanded a little bit. The babies only a couple of months old, and she's pretty cute. Dad said she's a splitting image of me when I was her age, right down to the thick "Mohawk" and chipmunk cheeks.

My brothers were pretty cool. They're not as agressive as they used to be, and their personalities are really starting to shine through. It was nice seeing them.

Well, that was Vegas.



Thanks for the comments and emails responding to the Previous post. Sometimes I get into funks and feel down, but I really do have to focus on what I have, rather than what I don't. And if I really think about it, I rather like my situation now. Parties, maintaining social status- most of it's a waste of time, anyway.

I like having the free time to do my own thing- like make a Ghetto E-Ink Tank Top ;)

I don't expect any "fame" from that one. It was just a fun lil' project. But with Pay Day today, I can focus on my REAL projects, and hopefully it'll expand some minds.

I do have to watch my budget though, because I'm going to need the money- tomorrow morning I'm hopping on a Jet Plane.


I'll be going with 'Adi', the guy who helped me replace my iPhone, and 'Jewels', a coworker. I finally was able to get in touch with Dad, and hopefully I'll be able to get together with him and see my brothers. They're 17 and 16 now!

Boy, how time flies... I remember when the oldest was a toddler, running around, pulling his diaper off to poop on the floor for me to clean. Ahhh, Good Times...


Tears for Beers

Emmy called me last night, inviting me to a friend's housewarming party.

I'm thinking a small get together with hor d'oeuvres and wine or something. We get there a little early and find our college age hosts dressing up in go go boots and skimpy underwear. Turns out they forgot to mention (or Emmy forgot) that this was a housewarming slash Lingerie Party.

Within a very short time, there's a couple of dozen people in boxers or baby dolls, Hip Hop blaring from the speakers, Beer Pong in one corner and some drinking game called Kings Clubs or something going on in the other one.

Everyone eventually joined that one, sitting in a circle around a pitcher of beer. Me, I sat on the couch in the background nursing some hard liquor and reading a horror novel on my Back From the Dead Kindle- 'Heart Shaped Box' by Joe Hill, who is actually Stephen King's son. It's been a great read so far; I recommend it.

I occasionally took a break to watch the antics, young adults starting to get drunk and randy, laughing, yelling, dancing. These people were around my age, but that's where the similarities seemed to end.

These guys probably lead typical upper-middle class teenage years, going to parties in high school, getting drunk, not caring about much more than hanging out with friends and getting laid, and this is where its lead them. This is what normal, popular kids my age DO. And I felt this huge gulf between me and everyone else here, even Emmy and her shy, quiet friend, who had both joined in, too.

It was more than just the TG thing, though I'm sure that's part of it. Things like this have just never been my scene, probably because growing up I was excluded from them and learned to find pleasure in more solitary intellectual pursuits. Even Emmy's insistence for me to join couldn't extract me from my couch-bound bubble.

I sort of realized then that my 20's were fleeting pretty quickly, and that I'd probably never really get into scenes like this before I was too old for them. I added more things to my mental list of missed life experiences, feeling a little sad about the whole thing.

...The stiff drink helped a little with that, though.



Well, it truly seems downhill after 25 as I've found I need coffee frequently throughout the day. Otherwise, as I mentioned previously, I just crash as soon as I get off of work.

I've drunk it on and off but until recently my little coffee machine had been gathering dust.

I'm more prone to anxiety on caffeine though, so it's a delicate balancing act. When I get that wearable computer finished, I'll think I'll chart my metabolic rate and keep a little timer in my heads up display to let me know when to dose up again.

I can't wait!

I'm also planning a little trip. It's been awhile since I've left the city, and I'm looking forward to it. Where am I going?

Stay tuned...


Still Here, Thankfully.

Some aren't as fortunate.

Sorry for the delay.

The heat wave gripping the city has been sapping away at my energy to the point where I usually take a long nap after work, and just veg out before going to sleep for the night.

Heh, the unending excitement of a tranny in the big city.

The boss also asked me to change rooms- according to him a room they fixed down on the second floor was just too nice to rent to the public, so he gave it to me. It's a nice room, though I preferred the street view. Plus the second floor is constantly full, mainly locals, and they can be rowdy.

I've moved the essentials already- I'll do the rest over the next few days. The major plus though is the previous occupant was a decade long resident and had a phone line installed. After a grueling experience talking to AT&T "Specialists" (who apparently don't even know what an 802.11n wireless standard is) I finally got their "elite" DSL package set up.

After using a cellular broadband card for the past year, it sure is an improvement. So all in all I'm happy with this move, so far. It's given me an excuse to get rid of some old junk I've been hoarding, and maybe help me out of my funk.

Unfortunately routine has also been disrupted in a sad way.

It was late the night before last and I checked in with the office and saw a guest hadn't paid. He was an older guy, wheelchair bound for the most part, and liked to try and grab my butt or legs and constantly invited me up to his room.

He was a pervert, but harmless for the most part.

Seeing that he hadn't paid, I also realized I hadn't seen him in a few days and just said "Uh-oh" out loud. I took the desk clerk up to check the room, and sure enough found the door could only open a couple of inches as he had apparently collapsed against it. A quick reach in to feel his arm confirmed he was dead.

Overdose, apparently. Second one here in three months- talk about good publicity.

It was pretty surreal, and I was up til 2AM waiting for the police and the medical examiner and answering questions until they moved him out. They weren't too careful about it as they smashed the cart he was on into every corner of the hallway, tearing a huge chunk out of the wall at one point.

Yeesh- not at all like what one sees on TV.

Well, Goodbye Mr. Simpson. I'm sure you're getting all the Angel tail you can handle.