h4ppY n3w Y34r!!!!111!!!!

Here it is, 2008 on the East Coast. Just thought I'd wish everyone a Happy New Year!

It's funny, but I'm actually itching to get back to work. I guess I'm not the type of person that handles extended vacations very well. I complain about the job, but I've found that getting up early and getting work done is pretty satisfying.

And when I'm not working, I need to get an X-Box so I can play Guitar Hero. I've become addicted to it here. It's pretty cool, working through Easy Mode and slowly building up to the advanced levels, my fingers taking on an almost subliminal, reflexive life of their own as they hit the right cords.

Like everyone who plays the virtual version of something, I now think I'd be pretty good on the guitar... If I ever learned to play, that is.


Ugh, so many freakin' bugs. Ants everywhere.

So Florida is starting to wear on me, and I yearn for home.

I guess its the heat, the swamp land, the bugs, the innumerable strip
malls that seem to be taking over the country, etc.

I won't be back for awhile though, so I'm trying to enjoy the time
with the family.

I'm going to miss Mum n' my lil sisters.

Probably won't be back in these parts til Christmas '08. Maybe having
cleavage will make the Florida experience better ;)

Sent from my iPhone


Here it is, 2am SF time (Even though I'm still in Florida, I'm still thinking in West Coast time).

I don't usually dream about people I know, but I dreamed that I reconnected with Emmy last night.

Heh, and after I just resolved to not live in the Past anymore...

Anyway, in the dream I was walking in the halls of my Hotel and saw her from the back, her hair longer and dyed, and was debating whether I should say anything to her. I compromised by walking past her field of vision, pretending that I didn't see her.

And the next thing I know, we're walking down a long corridor I don't recognize, that slowly transforms into a little walking path I knew from Virginia, that was bordered by trees on one side and the fenced in backyards of condos on the other.

We were talking and she started crying, which made me start crying, and we apologized for being stupid and held hands.

So here I am, up and feelin' melancholy. Christmas Eve marked Four months without a cigarette, so that makes a little over five without Emmy.

I'm probably still thinking about her because there wasn't any "closure". No final goodbye, no questions answered. ...Too bad life can't be as tidy as a TV show.

Maybe one day, before I move out of SF, I'll try to see her one last time and ask her what happened.

Though I can't imagine her answering.

*sigh*. I miss her.


Further strengthening my decision in choice of Surgeon, Dr. Chett sent me an email wishing me Happy Holidays and all that. A little thing, but still thoughtful, methinks.

Christmas went as well as these things usually do. Spent the day with Mom's family, and got a bit of cash. Mom bought me a bunch of wardrobe additions, which was pretty cool of her. I was thinking I'll have to do some more shopping in a few months to accommodate my "Chestal Expansion", but Mom bought be a bunch of V-necked This and Thats.

And harkoning back to the previous entry, only the two txted me back. So I'm a bit depressed. Hmm, I have a habit of living in the past too much. I should probably work on that for the coming year.


Happy Holidays

On my way back to Moms house after a Christmas party with my "step-
fathers" family.

They are LOADED. Two million dollar home stacked high with presents,
lobster, and an open bar.

As usual, I didn't feel part of it all, so after making an appearance,
I found a quiet corner with a drink and zones out as much as I could.

After a few drinks the caterer and I started flirting. Its a No Date
policy, so some harmless flirting with someone 3000 miles away is
covered in a sub-paragraph somewhere, I believe.

Anywa, I love my iPhone. Its got me through a whole day of parties,
and Church. 'Arrested Development' makes everything easier to deal with.

I just texted a bunch of exes, probably due to the Vodka, wishing them
Happy Holidays. So far 2 have replied, and I have a bet with myself
about how many more will right back.

I don't expect everyone to write back, but I will be a bit depressed
if those are the only two...

Sent from my iPhone


Made it to Florida OK. I always find it weird, coming back to Florida. The heat, the bugs- blah.

Anyway, as Hotel Business has been slow, I did not receive a Christmas Bonus this year. Blah again.

I'm still trying to make sure the family has a nice Holiday. Got everyone a ton of gifts, and am trying to make the most of my days here.

Oh yeah, so my last entry I mentioned I was kind of giving up dating. I don't remember half of writing that entry- I was exhausted and falling asleep. But the gist remains.

It's just too much hassle, too expensive, too time consuming... I think a nice long break from relationship woes will do me some good. Doesn't leave much interesting fodder for the ole' blog, though.

We'll see how it turns out. Sometimes I just seem to trip and fall into these Romantic Comedy/Horror movies.


Ooh boy, time flies away again.

Well I'm mostly packed and ready to go. Shana will be coming over and we'll go out on the town for a bit. Whenever I fly I like to have a nice dinner the night before.

(A Few Hours Pass)

Back from dinner. I had wanted to go to my favorite Steak place, but they were about to close, so we ended up at my standby Thai place. I always kind of feel like a celebrity going there, since everyone knows me and what I'll order. A lot of really cute girls work there, too, but I've never tried to strike up a conversation.

I'd like to hold on to a neutral ground where I can relax and enjoy myself. Shana and I had a nice dinner and a long conversations. Had a few drinks too. For the first time since I started eating there, I opted for a cocktail instead of beer. Multiple cocktails, of the Blue Margarita variety. A little "fruity", perhaps, but I was in the mood for flamboyance.

One waitress we had put a strain on my "Not Sh!#$ing where I eat policy, as she was just so darn cute, with a bit of a sexy streak going on. I remained steadfast though, despite Shana's disappointment, which started an hour long debate on human/animal nature.

Anyway, as the drinks started flowing I revealed to her that I had pretty much given up dating- for now. I guess I revealed it to myself, too. After "The Actress", I just stopped...trying?

I avoid eye contact when walking down the street, and try to keep conversation with strangers to a minimum. I'm just not interested in the Rules and the Ritualistic Nature of it

I'd like to write more about this revelation, but I'm falling asleep at the keyboard. Need to rest, need to get up early...today.


The Cake is a Lie

I haven't done any gaming in awhile, but I happened across a copy of Portal and played through it. Very short, but pretty fun. Afterwards I decided to buy 'The Orange Box' as a gift for the family. Yup, Half-Life 2 is the gift that just keeps giving.

Can't believe Christmas is only ten days away. I don't count the days of Christmas down like when I was a kid. I suppose that once you start growing up, the Holidays become more about togetherness and making sure the next generation holds onto that magic for as long as possible and has fun.

I do kind of miss when my Mom would write me notes (from Santa) and leave them in my Stocking.



So Cograts to my Mom, who just tied the knot with her boyfriend of a few years.

Wow. I've go a new Dad now. Hmmm... Should only take a few years to wrap my mind around that one.

Well anyway, sorry for the delay between entries. Been really busy with the Holiday planning and such. I'm also scouting out plane ticket prices for my trip in May. I'll be purchasing that early next week.

Let's see... Ah. I don't know if I've reached some sort of 'Tipping Point', or perhaps it's just one person that's been busy online, but starting last month I've been getting a few emails a week from people alerting me to other people out there using my Pic, sometimes my name, too. Myspace, Craigslist, chat rooms...

It's kind of interesting, and I haven't gotten worked up over it. Besides a deep, twisted sense of flattery, I don't have much feelings about it. I mean, what can you do? If you put something out on the internet, you have to expect things like this to happen.


Still going semi-strong. Haven't micro-dozed off yet. Boy, this Kindle really is amazing. I've bought a few books, but I find myself browsing the amazon store a lot and just downloading Samples and reading through those.

I like reading a couple of chapters of one book before switching to another book. Repeat a dozen times or so until I return to the first book and advance a little more. I guess I crave variety.

One book I have finished on the Device was Crooked Little Vein, by Warren Ellis, which was one of those books I'll probably find myself reading again and again over the years. A very satirical dark comedy, which I tend to enjoy. I recommend it to anyone who doesn't get offended or grossed out easily.

Blog Blog Blog it all!

Oof, what a day. Work was killer, real busy, boss constantly on me about this or that, and I had to stay a few hours late.

After a day like that, I need to go unwind, which usually involves treating myself to a nice dinner and a little alcohol. So I went to a Steak House I like and got a nice meal, plus some Martinis. I haven't drunk Vodka since my plane ride to the funeral, so my tolerance has slipped a bit.

Needless to say I got home around 9:30pm and crashed, but got a phone call from my boss around midnight. Long story short (though a tad convoluted), the person working the swing shift at the desk was short a bit of cash at the end of her shift, and I guess she partly blamed the grave shift worker who arrived early and was hanging out in the cramped little office and distracting her.

So the grave worker got upset and left, and as the boss sided with the swing clerk, I was told to basically fire her (she lives pretty close by) and work the grave myself. So, here I am.

It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't nauseous from the vodka, and I didn't have to work till 4PM. Well, that's my job. I suppose my commitment is why I was promoted. But if some dot com millionaire wants to come take me away from all this, be my guest ;)

(And speaking of Dot Coms, this video is hilarious, and catchy- Here Comes Another Bubble)


Synchronicity again. Came across this Guide to Living Your Life Consciously. Seems like the exercises might help me out a bit.


To elaborate a bit on my last post, I feel great about moving forward, but I also regret the lost Time. I mean, I could have done this awhile ago. But my first year in San Francisco was mostly surviving, barely scraping by. And then I started getting into a groove and start climbing my way to the "top". Now for almost a year, I've been enjoying my spoils.

And then one day I wake up and three and a half years have disappeared and I'm quickly approaching 25. Besides having a bit more money, I was still in the same rut I've been in for almost half a decade!

It's so easy to let time just slip you by. I'm glad I Woke Up sooner rather than later, but I'm still kicking myself for the waste.


Well, I seem to be better. I slathered some hydrocortisone on it and my color returned to normal by the next day. Thanks to everyone who wrote in with advice! Much appreciated.

So I finished my Christmas Shopping today, so that's out of the way. It will all be shipped to Florida ahead of my arrival, wrapped n' ready to go. Ahh, the Wonder of Amazon.com.

I'm looking forward to the trip home, and two whole weeks off from work.

I'm also feeling reflective, as usual, and I've found that I don't feel 'stagnant' anymore. For awhile there it was just a blur of the same old routine. Now that I've scheduled this surgery though, I feel like I'm going somewhere- it's not just a star on the horizon that I never seem to get any closer to.

It's only five months! And then it's only a short hop and skip to SRS, and then... Hmm, haven't thought that far ahead yet. I'm guessing it won't be dramatically different, but maybe I'll finally be a bit closer to finding peace.



Why can't I just ever be "normal"? Woke up this morning with bright pink cheeks (on my face) and it's kind of freaking me out. There doesn't seem to be any swelling, and it's not tender...

Ugh, I swear, if it's not one thing, it's another with me. Hope I don't fucking have Lupus, or something...


I've got a Fever!

I know, I know. I can't help it- I've got chronic Gadget Fever. It's usually treatable, but unfortunately my affliction is further compounded by EAS (Early Adopters Syndrome).

So, Yes, I am now the proud owner of Amazon's Kindle. (LOL- the screensaver on the Kindle just popped up and thanked me for "Being an Early Adopter." Synchronocity!)

A Kindle Mini- Review:

So I'm really enjoying it so far. As soon as I turned it on, it welcomed me with a letter from Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos. Soon after, I was browsing the Kindle Store and downloaded a bunch of free samples (first chapters).

I've owned the Sony E-book Reader for almost a year now, but this just blows it out of the water. I never bought any content from Sony's E-book store- I just used the device to easily read all the documents I had downloaded that I didn't want to sit in front of a computer and read.

I purchased one book already on the Kindle, 'Jennifer Government', and in general I'm amazed how streamlined everything is- especially for a V1.0 device. Plus the amount of content is unbelievable. Unlike Sony's store, there's a TON of things I actually want to read. I'll have to limit myself to 2 or 3 books a paycheck, though. Kind of like how I had to curb my iTunes spending.

On the downside, again, this is a V1.0 device, so there are a few nagging problems. The main issue I've had, as have others, is the big navigation buttons make it easy to turn pages accidentally. And browsing the online Kindle store on the device isn't as efficient as on the computer.

Also, the Kindle supports fewer formats natively, so I've had to convert most of my documents by emailing them to Amazon, where they convert it and send it to the device for a 10 cent charge. I could have them converted for free, and then put it on the device myself, but I'm willing to pay a few bucks for convenience.

But these minor issues haven't taken much away from my enjoyment, and I believe the Kindle definitely has a long future ahead of it.