Ahhhh. It feels good to be able to say, once again, "Oh, this? This is my newest invention!" Of course the effects only complete if I add a slightly mad twitch to my eye during the delivery.

One thing I miss about some of my old boy shirts are those shirt pockets for holding my tech crap. I've never been much of a 'purse' person- for some reason I always think I look weird carrying one.

So I repurposed a velcro armband from an old MP3 player. I put some velcro stickers on my gadgets and just stuck em' onto the band, along with some loops for my glasses, mini-screwdrivers, pens, etc.

My box of Camels posed a problem though because the velcro stickies didn't stick very well on a cardboard box. So I made a cigarette case from an old altoids tin.

Ok, yeah, it's not going to change the world anytime soon. But I still think it's cool having all that stuff strapped to my arm. Much less silly than carrying a purse around. (In my strange worldview, anyway.)


Oh, by the way...


Nikola Tesla teaming up with Mark Twain to fight evil in turn of the century New York?

FUCK YES! Look at Tesla weilding those Resonant Coil Guns. If any aliens reading want to transport me to an alternate universe, please let it be that one.

So as you can see, I made it back safely.

My return to the city wasn't exactly filled with fanfare. It's like I had jumped out of the oven and into the cool-to-the-touch fryer. It wasn't scorching, but SF was uncomfortably warm, by my standards.

Damn global warming, making me sweat. I hate that.

I had also found that the BART (subway) wasn't $4.95 like I remembered, but $5.15, so I bought a ticket that was 15 cents short. The vegen I work with constantly brags about how she 'shoves it to the man' by not paying for BART or MUNI, so I figured I could get away with skipping out on the few pennies.

Of course, the second I try to sneak out the gate I'm stopped by the ticket box person. I tried explaing the situation, asking for a break, since it was just 15 cents. Acting like she didn't hear a word I said, she said she was going to bill me and asked for my ID.

Fine, whatever, I thought. Just let me out of here so I can go to bed. I handed her my passport, the only form of ID I had, and she practically threw it back at me, saying I needed something with my address. I explained I didn't have one, since I don't drive and never really found a need for a license, so she said she was tired of dealing with me and was going to call BART police.

'Jesus christ' I said, taking two seconds to stop a hipster looking guy walking by and asking him if I could bum a quarter. I handed it to the lady and told her to keep the change and hightailed it outta there.

I didn' t stress out too much over it. Though I think she overreacted, I was technically in the wrong, afterall. Eesh, give some people just the smallest amount of authority or power...

But anyway, enough about that. I've been feeling pretty good. Still haven't heard back from 'Staci' about the friendship offer, but I really didn't think she'd actually go for it. I'm sure she was just being polite about the whole enjoying my company thing.

I've been spending my time back focusing on me, letting my freak flag fly. I've been feeling really creative, filling my notebook up with little mini-projects. A part of me loves being the 'eccentric', and I've taken to wearing three 'gizmo' watches and altering some of my clothing to hold my various gadgets.

Next step, modifying my glasses to have those little rotating magnifying and scope lenses that you see geeks wearing in movies.


So, what went wrong after my last entry?

Well, the Florida Storms came in, delaying my flight by two hours, which would make me miss my connecting flight in Phoenix to SF. So I stood in line for an hour and a half to get a new boarding pass printed up, putting me on a later flight out.

Fast Forward a few hours later, after my arrival in Phoenix. I take a nice break at the airport bar, have a couple of smokes, and than I go to the gate, where I find the flight to SF has been cancelled due to mechanical problems.

I'm not upset or stressed over it, really. At least they caught in on the ground, plus they put me up in a nice hotel. I should get some pictures of this place. Very nice.

I'll have to wake up early. My flight is supposed to leave around 7am.

Phoenix. Eesh. When I first came here on my way to Tampa, it was 8am and already 95 degrees. Here it is 10pm and it's 110. And I thought Tampa was hot.

Well in other news, I heard back from the "Cold Fish". I've gotta stop calling her that. Maybe 'Staci'. There we go.

So 'Staci' said I didn't screw up, I just wasn't her type, which is what I figured, but she said she enjoyed my company. So I offered the olive branch of friendship. I said I enjoyed her company too, and that even though we didn't have a lot in common we should still hang out occasionaly because I enjoyed her company too.

Heh, we'll see where THAT goes. Probably nowhere fast, but I need to 'widen my network', so to speak. Any extra nodes have got to be a good thing.

K, ta ta for now.

Heh, well, here I am.

I had meant to post, but I never seemed to find the time. And now, here I am sitting in Tampa International waiting for the flight back to civilization.

It was a pretty fun visit. I treated the family to Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure. We got rained out of the second park- ended up getting pretty soaked. That was OK though, I was wearing my 'Summer Blake' ensemble that I picked up for the trip, and so I dried out quickly enough.

It was kind of weird, wearing white.

Anyway, so now I'm heading back home, looking forward to a week of doubles to help make up for some of my time away.

The "Cold Fish", I sent her a txt while I was out here. I figured that I'd probably never hear from her again, so I might as well be the bigger person and offer some closure (for myself, mostly), basically telling her that I hope she finds what she's looking for, I'm sorry things didn't work out, and to take care.

So imagine my surprise when she actually responds with a "What do you mean 'not working out?'" Jeez. I wasn't going to fall into another game of mixed signals though, so I just sent a short email detailing it out:

That I had fun and had hoped for something more, but I had gotten the impression that she wasn't feeling the same way- which is fine, because that's what the whole concept of dating is all about. But, if I misunderstood her, just let me know because I'd love to get together again sometime.

Finally, I did something direct for a change. Sent that yesterday, no response. Ha.

Well, hopefully my next entry will be from San Francisco.


Well, I fly out tomorrow so this will probably be my last post this week. If it turns out to be my LAST post, it'll be the planes fault, not mine.

Despite some promising turn of events with that girl I had been seeing, the Cold Fish, it's over. We had a nice third date, or so I thought, but now she's not answering my calls. Heh. I think that brochure was lying- feeling like a Pathetic Loser is not all it's cracked up to be. In fact, it's not nice at all.

So in the span of a month, I lost my (closest thing to) a best friend, the only romantic possibility I had going for me, and even 'Ally' isn't responding to emails. The Trifecta.


I try to put a positive spin on it, but it just seems to devolve into me muttering about "fuckin' cunts" into my vodka tumbler while I sit in my room with the shades drawn and all the lights off.

Ooh, how angsty.

It's not their fault though. Not entirely. I came to the conclusion about a year ago that I'm 'broken'. Despite the whole "What is Normal, Anyway?" argument, I'm not. I'm very ABnormal. It lends credit to my theory that I'm at least half-alien. (And I'm only half-joking)

I just can't seem to function normaly in society on anything but a most basic level. How does everyone else do it? It really is a gigantic mystery to me.

Agh, screw it. I'm swearing off women.


Heh, silly me. That girl I shared my first kiss with? 'Ally'? How could I forget- She's the subject of my very first UCOMDL entry!

11/11/2000 on the old Geocities Site ------------------>

So, we'll see where things go with that. Knowing me, it can't end well. But anyway...

The power just went out in the building and the surrounding blocks. So, I've got about 4 hrs or so of battery usage left. Guess I should watch that Entourage episode I downloaded before my battery goes kaput.


Hmm, guess I jumped the gun when I said she was married. More like engaged.

Totally unrelated to that revelation, I sent her an email and we chatted a bit.

It's kind of cool, reconnecting with someone from your past like that. Granted, it's not like it's been all that long, maybe 5 years or so since I've seen her, but still...

It's kind of hazy, but I recall "Coming Out" to her. I didn't have to say much, really, as I bumped into her 'en femme' at the mall. Tight jeans, powder blue blouse with matching tennis shoes, and a light hint of makeup.


I'm not all that passable now, but back then, pre-hormones, forget about it. I felt like Frankenstein's monster or something. Not sure how I worked up the nerve.

Well, she seemed pretty cool about it. I seem to remember that she's kind of kinky.

So anyway, after drudging around my past through the modern miracle of the internet, I've found that I feel...compelled...to return to my hometown.

I didn't make many friends- in fact I was hated or ignored by pretty much everyone. But the connections I DID manage to make, they ran pretty deep. Heh, I'm suddenly imagining a TG version of that movie 'Just Friends'. I think that would be a pretty cool storyline. Much better than the overdone "Straight Guy has to Dress Up as a girl inorder to [Insert Improbable Situation Here] and Save the Day, Get the Girl, and Learn an Important Life Lesson."

If I DID ever go back, I'd probably have to get my drivers license first. (Did I mention that I never got that? I detest driving, and last thing I wanted was another ID with a big fat M that I'd have to change later. But nowadays, I don't think it's all that big a deal. I still hate driving though.)

This year is pretty busy, travel expenditure wise, but who knows- maybe next year.


And Go On it does, what with bills to be paid and work to be done.

Especially work. It's pretty stressful, as the boss only seems to believe in delegating when it comes to himself. Me, I'm expected to know everything, and to do everybody else's job.

I guess that's why I make the big bucks.

Yesterday sucked, getting phone calls every 5 minutes about such and such things, mistakes other people made, why I'm not on top of them, and so on.

Today has slowed down a little bit, so, here I am.

I got a pretty big shock, though. A blast from the past, one might say. Mom invited me to MySpace, so I put up a quick, empty page. That's when I realized you could search for other people by their real name.

And the first name I tried was my High School Sweetheart, the one I gave a ring too. And I found her. J's site was just as empty as mine, but her Friends List linked to her sister and brother's site, which was more filled out. And the brother's site had a picture of all of them together.

Wow, I can't believe how much people can change in ten years. Last time I saw K and A, they were little kids. Unbelievable.

I feel really old now.

And J, well, I'm having trouble believing it's her. She looks like a supermodel. Well, I only fall for the pretty ones.

I also found my Other High School Sweetheart- the girl who, in fact, I had my first kiss with. She's now happily married, with a child. Wow.

I feel really young now.


So it's official- I'm headin' "Home" for about a week.

I bought the plane ticket, and I'll be leaving mid-July- just a couple of weeks from now.

The original plan was to head out there in September. Well, the original, orginal plan was to go to the Bahamas in June, and then catch Florida on the way back. But I decided to use the money to fly the family out here for Christmas.

But I'd like to see them again before than, plus there's a possibility Dad will be heading out to Florida at the same time, so maybe I'll see the Boys, too.

I'm also going to treat the family to Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure. I haven't been there in years.

In fact, I think the last time I was there, was when I first discovered that transitioning was the path for me.

God, I looked pretty ridiculous walking around in that crappy wig and second hand clothing, but I felt free, ya know?

So, I think that'll be fun. I could use the vacation- haven't taken a day off in seven months. Not only that, it'll be nice to get out of the city for awhile. Not that I don't love it, sometimes I just like to drop off the map- not that anyone's looking for me anyway.

'Amy' never wrote back or contacted me, as I knew she wouldn't. Even though I put a P.S. that she could just ignore this and we can stay friends, that was more a formality than anything. That email- that was my good-bye.

I let her go.

A part of me says good-riddance, a part of me is in mourning for the lost of my friend. Darn Aquarian duality.

So I'm back on that long, dark path again. My cellphone silent, my afterwork schedule empty. Once again, it's just me, my shadow, and my thoughts.

Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be. Maybe there really is some greater purprose, something in motion requiring me to travel alone.

Or not. Most likely, my human ego is deluding itself to avoid the ugly truth- that we're all insignificant.

And yet...life goes on.