The Toilet Bowl is my Friend-

That's why I'm hugging it.

Ohhhhhhhh.... Uggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

Never Again.

Well, on a scale of 1 to 10, this hangover only ranks a 4, so it's manageable. I cracked out the Mylanta and started downing shots of it, so at least my vomit is not of the acidic, zombie-spray variety. A little minty, actually.


So I went to Bondage-a-Go-Go last night with 'Amy'. We ended up getting there late, so we only had a couple of hours that just flew by. I only got to dance, like, three songs. (Too bad this pic came out so bad, it looks better when you can see all the little details on the outfit. I'll try to recreate the look in the next photo-session.)

We were in the bathroom freshening up our makeup when a stall door creaked open, revealing a girl (I think) all tied up and gagged. Pretty hot- we each got our picture taken with her. (Yes, she nodded that it was OK.)

I wish I could find someone to do that to me...

And that's that. Oh, yeah... 'Amy' got a really good deal on a Vegas flight- $80 round-trip, but it's this weekend only. So, what the Hell, it was only $80... turns out I'll be going to Vegas THIS weekend too, along with the original mid-June trip.

It feels great, doing something spur of the moment like that. I'm pretty excited. Course, I'll have to pace myself so I don't burn myself out before the "Real" Vegas trip in a couple of weeks.

And have you seen the new Google Maps Street View? Incredible. Of course, I can foresee the lawsuits, but 'til than, enjoy!


Inner Beauty, Outter H0tti

So, here we go again.

'Amy' and I are going clubbing tonight, and we spent most of yesterday shopping in The Haight for some outfits. After hitting numerous stores I put together a slutty gothic-lolita-esque combination. Totally black, lots of frill and lace, complimented by my new F-Me shoes- open toed, with a four-inch clear stiletto heel.

And for the first time ever, do to 'Amy's prodding, I am now the owner of a garter belt! Yeah, big whoop, but still, being a bit of a tom-boy in my daily life, I never thought I'd wear one.

Plus, I picked up some skimpy sleep wear. It's nice waking up to the feeling of silk against one's smooth, newly tanned skin.

Something I've noticed:

It's taken awhile, but I've really been starting to feel like a girl, as opposed to a 'Transgendered Individual'. I thought I wouldn't feel that way until after a ton of cosmetic work.

I'm still going to get it of course. (I'm sick of Negative A cups.) It's just nice to see my "inner-mind self-image" (or whatever the bullshit psychobabble term is), is starting to move towards the positive.


Come for a Cause

Wowsers. Last night was one of the most surreal experience of my life.

*Oh, and this entry probably isn't Work Safe, or for those under 21.*

So it started innocently enough, flipping through the free Onion newspaper that's scattered all over the city, when I saw the ad for a Masturbate-a-thon. It sounded pretty interesting, definitely alternative to say the least, and I told 'Amy' about it and we decided to go as spectators.

She wanted to go all out in attire, and she did. Pink platform boots, fishnets, and a lycra mini and tube top. And she's all of 100 lbs. Cute indeed.

I just wore my usual jean and blouse affair. (When I'm not indulging in narcissistic primping in my room, of course.) Here's a pic of me in the cab on the way there-

So anyway, we met up with a coworker and after a lengthy process of signing forms (agreeing not to touch others sexually, respecting boundaries, and of course, no photography.) we went in.

I felt like I stepped into an alternate universe- or a porn set, at the very least. The first area was kind of a typical nightclubish setup, with a bar (non-alcoholic that night) and a dance area. Down the hallway was the 'dungeon', lot of stone and chains, and mattresses laid out with guys and women, (mostly guys) going to town. And a good portion of people were just walking around naked, or mostly naked.

Pass the Jail Cell was a 'Barn/Stable' where 'Amy' and I must have watched this one girl for a half-hour, using a vibrator, deepthroating a giant dildo, and finally fisting herself. Pretty awe inspiring.

After about an hour 'Amy' loosened up to the point of taking off her tube top and sticking her hand in her panties. I'm not much of an exhibitionist (surprisingly) so I just stayed as I was. Not like I have much to show (above the waist, anyway).

A lot of guys were trying to make eye contact with me as they "did the deed", and I did indulge the few cute ones a little, sort of running my hands over my exposed waist and shaking my hips a bit, licking my lips... That was kind of funny.

I met a few TG girls, and chatted with some people. A cute Australian couple invited me back to their place, but I declined. I'm shy! (Plus I had work the next day...)

Later on when people started to leave, me, 'Amy', and my coworker went to the dance floor and "Busted a move", or however the kids say it nowadays, even though we were the only ones dancing. When I got tired and sat down, 'Amy' actually gave me a lap dance, one of the hottest experiences of my life. She couldn't believe she did it, either. She said she doesn't even do that in private with anyone, but I guess it was a night for trying new things.

So after that, we went out for dinner and drinks, and than headed home. She said next year she's going to be a participant. Maybe by then I'll work up the nerve- a transgender masturbation record has yet to be set.

And so the countdown begins...


-Naked Yoga

Now that I have a little more money coming in, I've been diverting some of the funs for 'Pampering'. More skin care products, spa treatments, etc.

I've scheduled an appointment at one of those airbrush tanning places. Who knows what's in those chemicals, but it seems healthier than irradiation.

Lately I've been trying to get more 'In Touch' with my body. No, not by masturbation.


Anyway, just by light exercising and some stretching. I'm thinking about joining a yoga class. No, not naked yoga, but it did cross my mind briefly. Maybe a few years down the road...



I wanna try this out!:

Pheromone Hair Gel

Well, I seem to be doing alright without it. But still. PHEROMONES! In HAIR PRODUCTS!

So this is what the future is like...


So, here I am. Back at work.

A coworker got sick, so I'm filling in the evening shift, too. I probably won't get paid for it either, seeing as how the hours I work and the amount I'm making is already ridiculous, and all the perks I get, I can't bring myself to add it to my time card.

Jeez, what do I have to complain about? Ugh, I just get peeved when my plans get shot. I was going to give myself the spa treatment, test out some new hair products, try on some new outfits...

Ok, so it's not like I'm being held up from searching for a cancer cure or anything. I just enjoy getting a chance to unwind after a long day.

Well, this shift is kind of slow. I have time to fart around with my blog. The temperature is moderate; the sky is clear outside the window. I've got my health, however fleeting. I'm youngish, kinda cute, and I have some money in the bank and a roof over my head.

And only four more hours to go.

Really, I have nothing to complain about.



So, bought the tickets and made the arrangements. I just took a vacation in April, but seeing as how I'm working seven days a week now, I think by Mid-June another one will be in order. It's funny, but I had a stopover in Vegas when I went to Florida a couple of months ago, which happened to be the day of my brothers birthday. (Who lives with Dad in Vegas)

And now this second trip is on the same date as my OTHER brothers Birthday. So I've been calling Dad to see if he wants to meet up, but he's ignoring my calls, as usual, probably because I didn't loan him any money last time he asked.

Jeez, I'm barely making it by as it is. San Francisco is expensive! Plus saving up for all the cosmetic work I need... I hope to reach my target amount by early next year.



I met this girl at the hotel over a year ago named Rosie. She was kind of a burn out, doing drugs, getting into trouble...the usual M.O. of people who end up at this hotel.

Since I attract those kind of people we became friends, sort of. She ended up leaving last August, moving to Santa Cruz for rehab, and now she's cleaned up and working.

I hadn't heard from her in awhile. She sent me her new number months ago, but I never got around to calling her. So, fast forward to a couple of days ago.

She was visiting family in town, and gave me a call. Long story short, we hung out, got drunk, and ended up back at my place where we fooled around a bit. A lot of rough, naked make out sessions, taking turns tying each other up, that kind of stuff.

So, the next morning she went back to Santa Cruz. We're going to Vegas next month.

And this is so soon after that one night stand I had a week ago with that Canadian Girl. Did I ever blog about that? Hmm, seems like I'm having alot more intimate encounters as of late. Maybe I should catch up on my Star Chart...



I've been investing a bit in the stock market lately. It's kind of fun, and a little addicting. I don't have that much to invest, but it's always nice seeing your stocks with those nice green numbers when the market closes.



Wow, I find myself looking at the most recent pics alot. Like, is that REALLY me?! I didn't even have to adjust these ones aside from a little cropping. Eyeliner's a miracle!

Maybe it's because I was teased so much growing up. I always felt awkward and weird looking, which is probably where my self-deprecating cynicism came from. It's WEIRD, looking in a mirror and seeing someone who's me, just a little more prettier than the image in my head.

I'm always checking myself out, especially when I'm drunk. After three drinks, hide the mirrors.

I wonder if this gives any credit to the whole Autogynephilia "theory".

I guess I'm not TOTALLY a narcissist- I'm cringing in shame as I write this post.

Well, Freud DID say a little narcissim was essential. Than again Freud was pretty screwed up himself.


Treated like a Lady

My little project to completely immerse myself in the 'Web 2.0' is well underway, as you can see. I even have a Twitter account!
What prompted this? The new Blogger template, plus I'm trying to kill time during the slow moments here at work. I want to see just how far I can extend this little web network I'm creating, using all this different Internet technology.

Anyhoo, 'Amy' called and invited me to the Folsom Street Fair, which isn't until September 30th. I've always wanted to go, but I usually ended up missing it. Going with someone might be fun though. We're going to go window shopping for some killer outfits to wear to it.

She wants to buck the trend and go Victorian Gothic, as opposed to the usual leather stuff. That sounds fun.

Since 'Amy' and I became Just Friends awhile ago, I'm surprised at out how close we've gotten. I never really talked about the nature of our relationship before, but the truth was while we were dating she never really saw me as a 'girlfriend', but a feminine looking and acting guy. Which, hey, can you blame her? I mean, my genetic sex is male, and that's not going to change anytime soon.

Over the past year or so, I did start to notice that she had started to treat me like a woman. Whether that's a genuine shift in perception on her part or just a form of supplicating to my desires, I don't know. Don't care much, either.

I really took notice of the change at the club, when she led me out to the dance floor and taught me some moves. That brought it home for me. "THIS was a moment I should have experienced ten years ago!"

Better late than never.

It's the little things- Going shopping, gossiping, having fun... It gives a sense of belonging I haven't really felt in a long time.

Well, I'm resurrecting the Lara Blake name. I think it's a better 'Stage' name then Agent Arcynic. After all, according to the Wall Street Journal, you're a nobody if your name doesn't Google well. Agent Arcynic isn't even a name, anyway.

So, what does this change? Not much, really.

Not much at all.


Well, carry on then.


Well, I must say- this looks a little better. It's also nice not having that big annoying space in-between the date and the text in the top post.

The heading at the top seems a little generic, though. I'll look into customizing that later.

All in all, I'm liking it so far.

Updating the ole' Blog. Thing will be weird for awhile.

Weirder than usual, anyway.


NewsWeek has a bunch of Transgender related articles up, with lots of interviews and a bit of science.


So, what IS up?

One of our full-time employees quit, so I'm working seven days a week now. I knew it was only a matter of time before my last bit of safe harbor was gone.

Well, Sundays are pretty slow anyway, so maybe I'll use it as an excuse to get some projects done instead of sleeping in and goofing off. I found LuLu.com and thought I'd finish up some of my writings and try to make a couple of extra cents a month.

Anyhoo, I finally got around to updating my Flickr pics. That's what I wore to Bondage-a-Go-Go the other day.

Ta Ta!


Well, I've made it back in one piece. I had a 2 hour stop over in Vegas, and flying into the city at night is always an experience. Quite beautiful, from a distance, if you find bright lights and lots of glass attractive. I happen to, in the right context.

The first day back is always the hardest. And longest.

I spent ten minutes arguing with a girl over basic arithmetic. She said I didn't give her back all her change, and finally I had to outline it all out, step by step on a notepad before she got it. What are they teaching in schools nowadays?

Than the same incident happened later with a different person, plus a few more people complaining about stuff the left when they checked out last month is no longer here.

Blah blah blah.

Well, I bought some Nicotine Gum in Florida, so it's been a few days since I smoked. And as stressful as today has been, I'm surprised I haven't caved in and smoked one yet.

P.S. Oh, yeah. Now I have to go fire someone. Nicorette, don't fail me now...