.

8/23/2006

So 'Ana' moving in wasn't disrupting at all. She tries to stay over with other friends when possible, and has spent the last couple of days with her mom out of state, so she's only slept over a few times.

It's pretty cool, conversing deep into the AM, her being a night owl and all. Everything from the writers of Roseanne going out of there way to make them all sound like idiots, to narrated imaginary trips through higher dimensions.

So, all in all, it's been fun.

Now, onto my latest experiment- hacking my circadian rythms.

I've been trying to find ways to maximize my awake time, while still remaining alert. Eight hours a night, over the course of fifty years, means about seventeen years of it are spent sleeping!

Unacceptable.

The past few months, I've been experimenting with different sleep cycles, none of which really fit my schedule. So I was thinking- if there's not enough hours in the day, why not just increase the length of a day?

Hence the 48 hour day was born. (Which is just a fancy way of saying that I go to sleep every other night.)

Of course, I added a couple of 90 minute naps inbetween.

So, for the past few weeks, I've been using myself as a guinea pig, subjecting myself to the following schedule:

12am-430am
Sleep

430am-430pm
Awake

430pm-6pm
Nap

6pm-430am
Awake

430am-6am
Nap

6am-12am
Awake

Repeat

Which, if you want to think about it in 24 hour terms (how archaic), roughly averages out to about 3.75 hours a 'day'. In 48 hour terms, that's a healthy 7.5 hours of sleep a day.

And I've felt pretty good. Since I'm not augmenting the schedule with any alertness-inducing chemicals, I figure my body will tell me if it rejects the new rythm, which hasn't seemed to happen yet. Work is going fine, my memory seems to be well within the normal-for-me range (somewhat absentminded), and my coordination and reflexes are AOK.

As long as I keep the sleeping and nap times in multiples of 90 minutes (average length of time for sleep cycles) I awaken feeling refreshed.

With this schedule, if it were to theoretically be maintained for the above mentioned five decades, would result in only eight years spent in slumber. Not ideal, but that's still gaining nine years that would have otherwise been wasted.

And what will I do with that extra time? Post blog entries at 4am, apparently. Let's see, I just got in from Denny's after a late night snack, and I caught the grave shift clerk sleeping at the wheel. Before that, I was catching up on the downloaded movies and tv shows that have been piling up on my hard drive.

Haven't been doing as much work at the ole' workbench as I'd thought I would, but I'm still waiting on some backordered parts to arrive. My main work in cryobiology will have to wait untill than, but I've been distracting myself with rudimentary demonstrations of electrogravity.

Fun fun fun.

(Jeez I'm weird- I'm going to be alone forever.)

8/16/2006

Speaking of alcohol... This is probably anti-climatic and contradictory after my last post.

Hey, that's life.

So I was downstairs talking with the Vegan when 'Ana' came by, saying she was going to go see her Ex's jazz show, and invited me along. Sucker such as I, I leapt at the chance to spend some time with her, and soon found myself downtown trying to drink myself into a stuper.

I managed a slight buzz, and 'Ana', being a normal girl, got a little drunk after a couple of beers.

We were chatting alot about various stuff, much of it garbage. I won't go into it, but it was a nice kind of garbage.

We did talk about her living situation though, and how she said she was going to head back to her hometown (a three hour train ride away) for a few weeks until she could find a place to live/job in SF.

(And yet again) Sucker that I am, I wanted to help her out.

Let me straighten this out- I've accepted the fact that we won't be any more than friends. Not just said it, but actually felt it. Here is a cool girl that I could learn a lot from, and her brain damage or whatever doesn't negate that fact.

(I'm throwing the term 'brain damaged' around pretty loosely. In reality, she's been on alot of meds for a staph infection that expains most of the memory problems. Try telling that to the boss though, who's favorite quote is "Wasted time and money can't be regained, but bodies can always be replaced". He's right, of course. Doesn't make it any less [insert personified evil term here] )

So when we got back, sharing a cigarette on the roof, I thought about the 'Right Thing' to do. The Vegan might disagree, but I really am out to save the World. And though I can't quite do that yet, when I can do something for the people in my life, I step in front of the metaphorical bus. I've used my position at the hotel to do favors for people I think needed help in the past, even though it's kind of an ethical shade of grey.

We really got into it, and she told me how people have taken advantage of her in the past, expecting blowjobs or makeouts for favors. Jeez, I'm leaving that Sex behind, but I still think I need to apologize on their behalf, sometimes. (Heh, like I'm any better.)

So, I offered to let her stay with me in my room for a couple of weeks. Heart over Brain? Maybe. But like I said, I came to terms with us just being friends. I even shook her hand and said I wouldn't expect any 'Happy Endings' or anything.

So how's this going to end? Probably with me in a heap of trouble. But, you know, I think I'm going to sleep well tonight.

I did the right thing by keeping her at a distance when we were co-workers. And now, I think I'm doing the right thing by helping out a friend in trouble. (Even though my cynical side still thinks I'm a sucker.)

8/15/2006

It's weird, not being able to get drunk anymore. Well, not without significent effort. The only time I've managed to get drunk since January was on my flight to Florida. The pressurization makes the alcohol hit stronger.

Even still, it took four Vodka Rocks', my drink of choice now.

At sea level, forget about it. *sigh* I miss the days of being able to fill up my 130 pound frame with one shot, where I would then start rolling around on the floor, laughing hysterically.

Good times.

Anyway, I'm happy to say I made the Right decision with 'Ana'. I finally listened to my Brain over my Heart (and maybe something a little lower, too... I'm on Hormone Replacement therapy- I'm not dead.)

We hung out a bit, but I kept it professional, didn't get too personal.

Good thing, too. Had to fire her.

The 'cracks' started to appear after the first couple of weeks. Like I said, she's a very calm person. Maybe a little too calm. I don't think she's on drungs, but she admitted to trying varying substances in the past. And as I know from my Ex-physicist shut-in friend who's been living at the hotel for the past 20 years, a couple of hits of acid can really screw up the brain permanently.

After two weeks of training, four hours a day, nothing has 'stuck'. Policies, computer use, data entry- nada.

I know she's smart though. She can pick up almost any instrument and start playing music right away. She's right-brain smart, I guess.

So the boss had me let her go. Wasn't the easiest conversation. I wasn't about to tell her the Boss thinks "she has a screw loose". (Which adds further proof to my theory that there's always something wrong with everybody I'm attracted to.) I just said that he took her in to see if it would work out, but he checked the schedule and realized we don't need any other workers at the moment.

I did try to break the news gently, and we talked about hanging out some more sometime, so maybe we're still friends. Who knows?

And while I wrapped that up, I had to go interview her replacement. Little white lies are ok if you don't want to hurt somebodies feelings, right?

So, in summary, I did something right for a change.

Wrong- 9234598237459324
Right- 1

See? I'm starting to close the gap.

8/12/2006

I was thinking. Energy can't be created or destroyed, right?

So what's going to happen at the end of the universe? Will it really keep expanding forever, until entropy takes over and energy is so spread apart nothing will exist anymore? Or will it eventually all come back together in a Big Crunch?

I know the galaxies are accelerating away from each other, but maybe, somehow, they still all come back together in the end.

Maybe energy gets around the whole created or destroyed principle through a loophole. If it always existed, than it was never really created in the first place, right? Maybe the universe is a snake eating it's own tail, a loop of infinite expansions and contractions.

Though, that doesn't seem like that great a possibility, either. If that's the case, it would make the Universe a giant version of Ground Hog's Day. Maybe that's what Deja Vu is- some faint reminder, an echo, that we've done all of this an infinite amount of times already.

Actually, that possibility would suck.

I didn't exist for about fourteen billion years. And here I am, for the briefest, fleeting of moments. And then afterwards? True infinity? That's peanuts compared to fourteen billion years.

But, infinity is a long time. If energy really will last forever, then the energy I'm made of right now might eventually be a stapler, or the fuel of a star, or even another lifeform. I suppose that's better than scattering my ashes in a lake somewhere.

I think I mentioned this before, but there was this Calvin and Hobbes strip I remember reading years ago. I should find it and print it out.

Bascially, Calvin is doing his Snow Art. He's made a super-deformed snowman with a wide, howling mouth, twisted limbs, and bug eyes. He calls it "The Torment of Existence Weighed Against the Horror of Non-Being".

And ever since then, that has been my definition of the human condition.

Let's stick to what I know, the Existence side of the equation. As I was telling The Vegan during one of our many spiritied philosophical debates, I believe in a balance. Humans have an extraordinary capacity for compassion, love, goodwill, and all that. But, Yin and Yang, we also have the capacity to inflict great pain and suffering.

We have highs, so we must also have lows.

When looked at in that way, it's very natural. When you think about it in a Yin/Yang kind of way, it seems a little easier to take a step back and realize that these cycles of up and down are natural, and yes, necessary.

To pull another quote from Calvin and Hobbes (one of the best things ever written/drawn, btw) "If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?"



But when things are low... Heh, doesn't stop it from sucking any less, does it?

8/06/2006

Yeah, one could say it's something of a delicate situation, dating within the workplace.

But it doesn't feel that way. 'Ana' and I are both really shy, so it's kind of fun as we take turns working up the nerve to invite the other out, and than stumble through the next few hours. It's a dorky, cute stumbling though.

It's interesting because she's completly different than my usual dating MO, and I didn't realize it until now.

Drama-free.

Taking an exploratory trip down memory lane, I can see how many freakin' problems everyone I dated had that I did my best to forget and bury. Drug addiction, psycho Ex's they couldn't stop going back to, car theft rings and drug running, just to name a few highlights.

That doesn't speak very highly of me, getting involved with people like that in the first place.
Course, I didn't know it right off the bat, and 'got out of dodge', so to speak, when I found out about the things they were up to.

But anyway, the point was that 'Ana's Drama-free. Ok, well, no woman is 100% drama-free, but I know how to spot the chaotic mindset pretty well; not just from my Ex's, but from living and working these last few years in one of San Francisco's sleaziest areas.

And she's actually passionate about something. She loves the arts and music as much as I love science, and we understand when the other wants to lock themselves in their room and drop off the map for awhile when they're creating.

But like I said, it's kind of a delicate situation, and we're taking our time. We haven't kissed, hugged, or even held hands. And unlike the 'Cold Fish', er, 'Staci', I find that I don't even care- I'm happy just being around her.

Heh, me being happy for however brief a time. Who woulda 'thunk it?

8/03/2006

Had my 'rite of passage' last night, as a light tremor hit Northern Cali.

Actually, I was in California during the Quake of '89, but I was a little too young to remember that one clearly.

It was a pretty interesting experience. Just typing at my computer, feeling the rumble of a passing truck. It took me a few moments to realize there WAS no passing truck. I probably should have headed for a doorway, but the rocking was so slight a part of me just sat there wondering if it was going to get worse, and a part of me just sat there thinking of that 'Earthquake' Ride/Simulator at Universal Studios that I went on in Florida, which was set in SF. How ironic.

8/01/2006

Eesh, a new month already. Time waits for no one.

Not much happening, really. I think I'm part cyborg, as the dentist installed a titanium post in my head today, to support a crown to be added sometime at the end of the year. Now if only I could get an RFID chip put in too so I can pay for stuff by kissing the scanner.

A girl dropped from the sky at the hotel, 'Ana' (though her real name is much more beautiful), offering her housekeeping experience in a 'Work for Housing' exchange arrangement. A 'purty girl in her late twenties, who I seem to kind of get along with.

I'm thinking about inviting her to dinner sometime. And so, the Cycle of Heartbreak begins anew...

Obviously, it doesn't help my chances if that's the attitude I start off with, but what can I say- a lifetime of experience has left me bitter and cynical. Maybe I should wear extra make-up to cover all that up.