Speaking of alcohol... This is probably anti-climatic and contradictory after my last post.

Hey, that's life.

So I was downstairs talking with the Vegan when 'Ana' came by, saying she was going to go see her Ex's jazz show, and invited me along. Sucker such as I, I leapt at the chance to spend some time with her, and soon found myself downtown trying to drink myself into a stuper.

I managed a slight buzz, and 'Ana', being a normal girl, got a little drunk after a couple of beers.

We were chatting alot about various stuff, much of it garbage. I won't go into it, but it was a nice kind of garbage.

We did talk about her living situation though, and how she said she was going to head back to her hometown (a three hour train ride away) for a few weeks until she could find a place to live/job in SF.

(And yet again) Sucker that I am, I wanted to help her out.

Let me straighten this out- I've accepted the fact that we won't be any more than friends. Not just said it, but actually felt it. Here is a cool girl that I could learn a lot from, and her brain damage or whatever doesn't negate that fact.

(I'm throwing the term 'brain damaged' around pretty loosely. In reality, she's been on alot of meds for a staph infection that expains most of the memory problems. Try telling that to the boss though, who's favorite quote is "Wasted time and money can't be regained, but bodies can always be replaced". He's right, of course. Doesn't make it any less [insert personified evil term here] )

So when we got back, sharing a cigarette on the roof, I thought about the 'Right Thing' to do. The Vegan might disagree, but I really am out to save the World. And though I can't quite do that yet, when I can do something for the people in my life, I step in front of the metaphorical bus. I've used my position at the hotel to do favors for people I think needed help in the past, even though it's kind of an ethical shade of grey.

We really got into it, and she told me how people have taken advantage of her in the past, expecting blowjobs or makeouts for favors. Jeez, I'm leaving that Sex behind, but I still think I need to apologize on their behalf, sometimes. (Heh, like I'm any better.)

So, I offered to let her stay with me in my room for a couple of weeks. Heart over Brain? Maybe. But like I said, I came to terms with us just being friends. I even shook her hand and said I wouldn't expect any 'Happy Endings' or anything.

So how's this going to end? Probably with me in a heap of trouble. But, you know, I think I'm going to sleep well tonight.

I did the right thing by keeping her at a distance when we were co-workers. And now, I think I'm doing the right thing by helping out a friend in trouble. (Even though my cynical side still thinks I'm a sucker.)

No comments: