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5/29/2006

Oof, had to rest for a sec.

The night I was getting thrown out of the apartment, I just sort of threw a years worth of surplus a few bags and boxes and hauled it off to the hotel. Finally, I've started going through it all, seperating the junk out, getting it boxed up and ready to be hauled off.

I was surprised, though, by the wave of emotion that started sweeping through me. I actually laid down and cried for a bit.

It's just junk, trash. An old jar of instant coffee, some newspapers with half-done sudoku puzzles, lot of old CD's, mostly ones that aren't even mine, etc. So I'm not sure what the big deal is. Though, I was digging through the stuff I'm not planning to throw out, so maybe it triggered something in my brain, all those objects being tied to memories, all being activated at once.

It's a tough feeling to describe, sort of like anxiety. Kind of like how I felt when I hugged the family goodbye and boarded that jet plane.

That's kind of depressing to think about, too. How the family has split up, how the environment I grew up in doesn't even exist anymore.

Ugh, well, I don't know where I'm going with this. Just needed to vent.

Now, to haul this junk away...

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