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10/31/2003

'm pretty sure Dad knows about this site- a few days ago he said something that might have been quoting a part of one of my entries.

Speaking of Dad, I'm not sure where he stands on my transition. Mom said he thinks it's just a phase, but I'm not so sure. Well, I'm not sure about anything when it comes to him.

He told me the other day that when he calls me 'son', he doesn't mean it literally. It's kind of like a 'nick name' for me, and he didn't want me taking offense. Even though I didn't really care, I suppose it was still a somewhat nice gesture to at least acknowledge it.

He's also called me missy a few times. I'm still looking into the Sarcasm Factor...

10/23/2003

Well I'm back, and I'm happy to report that 17 hours in a car with Dad wasn't nearly as agonizingly painful as I thought it might be. Probably because I tried to sleep for most of the ride.

I really didn't do much in Florida. Most of the time I was just hanging out with family.

While we were there, my Dad got the news that his best friend's dad had just died. Dad and Fred met in California, and kept in contact after we moved. Dad's probably going to fly out to meet him this weekend. He invited me along but I have a bunch of stuff to take care of here.


I can't believe full-time is only a month away. I just don't want to put it off anymore- it'll take about a year before I can get all the cosmetic surgery I need. Besides, even though I'm 'ugly as fuck' I still get ma'amed more than half the time, which isn't so bad.

I used to think full-time was some sort of magical barrier, but now I see that's not the case. It's just something that happened so slowly that by the time I'm ready to declare "Hey, I'm full-time" all I'll have to do is use my 'girl voice' and loosen up my mannerisms a bit.

Clothes-wise, I'm not going to be wearing dresses or heels too much. I think the only 'dramatic' change will be switching to tank tops and maybe wearing a bit more makeup.

Eesh, I'm such a tomboy.

10/15/2003

Ugh, had to get a new guestbook. (I saved the entries to disk, though)


My brother Brandon didn't go to Florida with Mom. Him and my other brother fight constantly, so Mom thought it would be best to seperate them. Brandon will go down later when Dad Uhauls the rest of Mom's stuff down to her.

Dad invited me on the little trip, but I hesitated. I didn't want another California fiasco. But I eventually relented. After all, with all the bridges I've been burning I could use some time away.

Heh, I've travelled more these last few months than my entire life.

Anyhoo, this trip to Florida doth not bode well. Dad and I started arguing right after he picked me up. He has a new motto lately- "It's not all about Blake."

I could take that from anyone else, but coming from him, it's total hypocritical bullshit! EVERYTHING is ALWAYS about HIM! I put up with it for a while, but after he went off and said I should be an 'Internalist, not an Externalist' and I should think about others for a change I brought up the whole credit card thing; I lent him two credit cards to fix his car and I ended up with $1000 worth of Cigar and Restaurant bills.

He actually said those expenditures were taken 'Out of context' and I should 'Stop seeing things in Black and White' ARRGGG! That man drives me crazy.

BUT I'll just have to put up with it. It'll be nice to see the family one last time.

I've since left that house. For totally un-ghostly related reasons. I'm now staying in yet another temporary residence, counting down the days til' that Birth Certificate arrives.

Heh, I'm at a very low point in my life right now. The only thing that's getting me through it is the sobering thought 'It could always be worse.' I hope not, though. I don't think I could take much more.

10/09/2003

Yeah, I'm a bit freaked right now. I think this house is haunted.

The setting is certaintly right. This is a huge, old house in the middle of the woods, where the neighbors are far apart and the only major road miles away.

It started the other night. A few minutes after I turned off the lights and got into bed there was a knock on my room door. *knock-knock* That was strange, I thought, since the people I'm staying with were long asleep. I got up and there was another one *knock-knock-knock* I opened the door and, of course, no one was there and the hallway was dark and empty.

So that was a little freaky. I tried to lay down again, but my imagination kept getting the best of me so I opened the door and turned some lights on before trying again to get some sleep. About ten minutes later I hear some clicks, and I open my eyes to see that the room door is closed and all the closet doors are open. OOOOKKKKAAAAAYYYY. I grabbed my blanket and spent a restless night on the couch downstairs, with all the lights on.

The next morning I talked to the owners, and they said that it wasn't haunted as far as they knew. They did mention that small items are always getting misplaced, but hey, they're old.

I wasn't even going to mention any of this. After all, it was late, I could have been dreaming- maybe the house is built on some sort of micro-fault line that occasionally produces the odd sound and doors opening and closing.

But a few minutes ago, (alone in the house) I was looking over my map and caught some movement out of the corner of my eye. I looked up and saw a flash of a long bluish dress and a sandled foot dissapear around the corner, like someone had just walked by. I jumped up and ran around the corner but again, no one was there.

Maybe I'm just imagining all this, but it certaintly seems real enough. Are those footsteps I'm hearing upstairs right now just in my head? I don't know. But at any rate I'll be glad to be out of here in a month. Haunted houses and true ghost stories are great to read about or watch on some special, but I'd rather not live it.

10/06/2003

I've been playing around with my hair, experimenting with different looks. I was never very good at styling it, so I have a lot to learn. It's also a bit difficult without things like a round brush or a variety of styling products.

But I can always improvise, I suppose.


Well Mom's going to Florida in two days. At first I was going to go down there with her for a week or so to help her move in, but realistically there won't be any room in the car for me.

So as a last get-together, we went out to eat and did some shopping.

I'm going to miss all of them, but sooner or later you just have to let em' go, ya know? :)

10/04/2003

Ugh, can't believe I'm back home already.


So my train ride to Boston was 9 hours long. I could have just taken a plane, but I wanted to be able to watch the scenery change the farther I travelled.

I wasn't dissapointed either. I saw the New York City skyline for the first time, and I had no idea the Rhode Island coast was so beautiful.

I arrived at 7:45pm. At first, it was a bit overwhelming standing in the middle of the city at night, with no idea where I was. But I just spent a few bucks on a map and headed for the nearest youth hostel.

Checking in was a simple affair and I soon had a bed. A top-bunk in a room with 2 other bunk beds. I opted to go for a mixed dorm instead of a private room so I could meet more people.

And I got my wish. Over the course of the next few days I met scads of people. Mostly european, but a few from south-east Asia as well. And just a footnote, I couldn't believe how many hotties (Guys and Girls alike) were staying there.

The next day, I spent the day walking around the immediate area so I could familiarize myself with it. I stopped in the Boston Public Library, which was absolutely huge, and then did a bit of shopping at the Prudential Center.

That evening I went with a bunch from the hostel to a local comedy club. It wasn't a very crowded show,but the acts were fantastic. After the show, a couple from the group and I made plans to go on a whale watching tour the next day.

I wasn't expecting much from that trip, maybe a good view of the coast. But sure enough, we were about an hour out at sea when the first Humpback made its appearance, raising it's tail in the air and everything.

After those left, we followed a Fin Whale for a bit, which showed us its flipper; a rare occurence according to the naturalist on board.

When we got back we split up, as I wanted to check out the Aquarium. I found out it would close in an hour though, so instead I walked around some more and found myself on Newbury St, kind of like New York's Fifth Ave.

Seeing a hair styling shop, I decided it was now or never and went in, chopping off a good deal of hair. I was going to go even shorter, but lost my nerve halfway through and decided to just leave it at chin length.

I think it looks pretty good.

That night, I met up with the same group from the Comedy Club and we checked out the Museum of Fine Arts. I spent hours walking the building; there was just so much to see.

On Thursday, my last full day in Beantown, I started the morning by going to the New England Aquarium. Not only was the giant central tank really cool, there was a trained California Seal named Tyler who was amazing and gave the coolest show. I wished my sisters were there; they would have loved it.

That afternoon I spent the day walking around the entire city. I went through Chinatown and the business district, and the huge park in the middle of it all.

I took in a bit to eat at a local place and got to bed early, since my train left at 6:30am the next morning.

The train ride was pretty uneventful. It was soldout so every seat was filled, and I was sitting next to a pretty girl I started chatting with. About that time the ticket collector came and ma'amed me, and the girl giggled her head off. Cool and embarassing, all at the same time.

And now here I am, back at 'home' and all ready to get back out again.