Another Tailspin

I didn't mention it before, but a little bit after the attack at work I called Stacia up. She didn't answer, it went to voicemail, so I left some messages. "Some", because you couldn't leave one longer than 30 seconds or so.

I had needed someone to talk to, and my small circle of friends weren't available, so there you go.

I kind of poured my heart out, a stiff cocktail of nerves and regret. Yes, she had some problems that I put up with, but I wasn't exactly a saint either. I've said before I'm a little nutty, maybe a dark mixture of estrogen and social isolation.

So I confessed some things, apologized for my behavior, tried to get her to understand where I was coming from.

And just now, apparently her phone was dead and she just got the messages. It was a rather cold conversation, but I was apologetic, I let her say what she wanted to. I mean, after our last "break up" I wrote a pretty nasty email that would be pretty tough to forgive, and she didn't.

She was sorry to hear about the assault, but she made it pretty clear that she didn't have much sympathy and that we were done.

We're not friends anymore, haven't been since the thread broke all those months ago, but I do miss her, and I'm saddened by the loss.

I still have some of her stuff and she said she'd come by to get it. That'll be a really sad day.