Gay Power!

Well, today was the big Gay Pride parade in San Francisco, and I kept with the tradition of not attending. Sure, it would be interesting to see, but the freakin' crowds- yeesh. A part of me likes loosing myself in a Sea of People, but it required more energy than I had today.

I think my body has gotten wise to the fact that this is my one day off a week, so I just feel sapped on Sundays.

So I tried to get lunch at the various fast food joints but with the lines out the door I skipped lunch and headed to Borders Bookstore. Perhaps it's a commentary on our culture that it seemed to be the one shop that was pretty much devoid of people.

I caught up on my various mags- Popular Science, New Scientist, Scientific American, Wired (even though I have a subscription- as a sidenote, one of my dreams is to be on the cover one day) PC Gamer (Hey, I have Boot Camp) and Maxim (For the gadget section!).

After that I pretty much just vegged in my room.

I saw Wall-E yesterday with The Vegan. I loved it, but she hated it and got pretty pissed off that I dragged her with me. She said right off the bat that she didn't want to see it and wouldn't like it, so I think she just didn't let herself enjoy it. We got in a bit of an argument about AI and sentient machines and such, and it ended with her telling me to find a new Movie Buddy.

Well, it's a great movie and I give it my Seal of Approval. I mean, 97% on Rotten Tomatoes can't be wrong.

In "tranny" news, not much happening. Same ole', same ole'. Continuing my earlier entry about Cosmetic Surgery not being a miracle, my newfound cleavage seems to prompt a lot more exclaimations from the (probably) uneducated around my work/home of "That's a dude!". Usually it follows an appreciative glance, so perhaps they feel a need to compensate.

After I got home following such an incident, I took a long, hard look at myself in a mirror.

And I smiled.

I liked what I saw, and after a moment of primping I got back to working on my Wearable Computer.

I've always been an outside the box kind of person, and over the years I've found a certain joy in the unconventionality which is my life. So what if a cheerleader blonde gives me a dirty look in the restroom, or a guy stops dead after chatting me up, realizing I'm not Genetically Female?

I take pride in not conforming to labels, expectations, or stereotypes. I take pride in doing my own thing, and not worrying if my interests or activities aren't "feminine" enough.

I take pride in myself.

The Great Surgical Recap

I don't think the following is really graphic or anything, but it's a little gross.

The first few days were a bit rough.

My surgery went fine with no complications. No excessive swelling or bleeding and what have you, so the Doc said I was good to go back to the hotel after a day and half or so. I had two drains attached to my chest leading to some water bottle looking contraptions.

It wasn't pretty, for sure, and the nurses giggled a little when I put on my hoodie and put the drains in my pocket.

My chest really hurt every time I moved, so I tried to stay lying down a lot. My butt started to ache, so I laid down some extra blankets as padding.

I also started to get pretty nauseous from blood draining back into my stomach from my nose. That lasted about two days. I accidentally dropped my wireless Mighty Mouse into the bucket next to my bed and it stopped working because I didn't realize it was in there until a day later or so.

Oops.

I got the drains taken out on the third day, and I felt like an android or something when she clipped the tubes and I heard a hiss of air like hydraulics. Around this time the nurses (very nice women, by the way) taught me breast massage, which is more like breast compression.

Basically I have to spend about twenty minutes four times a day compressing each breast for the next year. It was really painful the first few days, and I made sure to pop some painkillers about an hour before the nurses showed up, because they were really putting their weight into it.

Speaking of painkillers, they really knocked me out so I stopped using them after the first few days.

Because of all the bandages and the nose trauma, my face went into extra oil production so it was like an oil slick. Pretty gross. After the bandages came off that persisted about a week or so before settling back to normal. It was tough washing my face too, because even though there wasn't any pain usually, it was still pretty sensitive.

A weird thing was three of my front teeth were numb, but if I lightly tapped the bridge of my nose I felt in down in those teeth. Very odd sensation.

The area under my right eye had a purple bruise that faded to yellow and was gone after a week. I tried not to look in a mirror at all for a while, since I kind of get freaked out by stuff like that. When I finally did though, I decided I looked alright and went back to my usual narcissistic primping.

That teeth numbness has started to fade.

Speaking of numbness, I have some around the scars under my armpit. It's hard to tell if that's improving. Let's just say shaving is another odd sensation.

A large part of my left breast is also numb, starting from the nipple down to the fold. I do get the occasional prickly pain though, which I heard are the nerves reconnecting or something. Supposedly in almost all cases feeling comes back within six months, so we'll see how that goes.

Well, there we go- recapped!

Too Hot

You failed to inform me that your world orbits a GIANT BALL OF FIRE!

----------------------------
Sent from my iPhone

MySpace Weirdos

Be careful out there, kids- lots of nuts in Cyberspace *rolls eyes*

*edit- deleted remarks because they were mean and I should be above that*

UPDATE-

Case in point, read the comment below.

Hello, Paycheck!

Goodbye, Paycheck!

It took longer than usual to clear, but my paycheck finally came and was almost gone again just as quickly. But on the plus side, I got rid of that negative balance, paid my credit card, reactivated my health insurance and returned some loans.

I even had enough left over to buy a few summer outfits (from classiccloseouts.com), something I desperately need as the temperature starts rising. 82 degrees tomorrow!

Next paycheck I just need to pay one huge bill and I should finally be caught up.

Wo0t for capitalism!

The Reality

I've been careful into not fooling myself into thinking that I'm completely "passable". I'll say again for everyone considering cosmetic surgery- It's pretty damn neat, but it's not a miracle.

I'll still get the occasional jerk who shouts out something like "Are you a woman or a man!". Heh, well, at least he had to ask. And there are still people who insist on using male pronouns when referring to me, mainly the old codgers I work with.

If you're too bothered by that, it'll drive you insane, so I just let it go.

Right now I consider myself "Semi-Passable", and whether I "pass" or not, I've noticed that breasts have had the psychological side effect of making me feel more confident. Heh, how shallow of me.

Speaking of breasts, I took my measurements the other day- 38C-28-38. Not too shabby, I guess. Hmm, too bad it's all downhill from here.

May it Rest Peacefully in the Archive Eternal

Well it looks like my Hiptop Archive in the right sidebar went Dead. Wonder how long ago that happened?

Thanks to the magic of Archive.Org, it's been (unfortunately?) preserved for posterity, so I changed the link to redirect to the Archived version.

Some of those entries were a tad dark, having just moved to San Francisco jobless and friendless. But it's nice seeing that I've nudged along relatively successfully on my own since than.

So long, Hiptop Blog- may we meet again in that Great Archive in the Sky.

Jeez, I'm a loon.

Apple officially announced the long awaited 3g iPhone on Monday, and I'm already salivating. The release date is perfect, too- Mid July, right when I'll have my bills paid off and can go back to my "accustomed lifestyle".

Ooooh boy, watch out on Pay Day. I'm going to celebrate with a night out on the town- shopping, gorging, entertainment, shopping...

Yeah yeah, and I'll put some into savings, too.

Anyhoo, I know most of my entries since I've been back have been somewhat "fluffy", so sometime soon I'll do a somewhat indepth recap of my surgical experience.

Awwwkwarrrrrrd

I've had a bit of Blogger's Block lately. I mean, some interesting things have happened but I've had trouble sitting down to blog about it.

For example, the other night I was invited out to some sort of sexual performance art show called 'Trans as F*ck', and ended up the fifth wheel when the couple I went with met up with the new girl they were going to add to their relationship to make it a... triple, I guess.

Course, as seems to happen, the guy was a little more enthusiastic about the newcomer then his partner, and it led to some mild drama that had me standing around awkwardly by myself a few yards away, waiting for someone to drive me home.

I've also been having some financial difficulties. An autopayment I forgot about went through my account, leaving me negative $100. I begged and borrowed and eventually got the money replaced to the point where I had eight cents to my name, but I was too late and the bank charged me $70 in insufficient fund fees.

Jeez, that should be illegal.

Anyway, I've got one more Well to Tap, so to speak, which should get me back up to Zero. And then my next two paychecks will almost entirely go to paying off outstanding bills.

After that, though, I should finally be in the clear and I can go back to living the urban high life, consisting of the occasional night out, and a new toy every now and then.

Speaking of Toy, I've already got an eye on my next one.

Hmm, maybe my Blogger's Block is decongesting a tad.

Muahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

In just a few days, only a couple of blocks away, the next stage of The Revolution will begin. Myself, I'll be multitasking between working hard and obsessively refreshing Engadget.

Hmm, or maybe I'll try to black out my RSS feeds and wait for the keynote video to be posted.

Decisions, decisions...

See you in Hell, Witch!

Well this post retreads very familiar ground, but Stacia and I had another fight and
we dissolved our friendship. Again. I think this is the third or fourth time, now.

It's really not worth getting into what it was about, but it's basically, if I may be so
vulgar to say- Same Shit, Different Day.

A misinterpreted gesture on my part is converted into this grand malicious scheme of manipulation and mental abuse. It really was ridiculous. It was soooo stupid. I know I've said this before, multiple times, but this really is it. I will not contact her again, thanks to Emmy.

I ended up getting a message from Emmy (at my office, because my phone is still turned off) that said she wanted to meet up tonight. And I am so glad I blew Stacia off and went, rather than try to salvage the broken pieces yet again.

I'll never forget that squeal as Emmy saw me for the first time since I've been back, and ran up and hugged me. I had sort of gotten use to the nonchalant reactions, and I must admit her energy was infectious and made me feel really good.

She went on the whole night about how great I looked, and treated me to dinner, drinks, and dessert, and talked about all the fun we were going to have in the coming weeks.

She also told me what was going on in her life since I'd been gone, and it's been...interesting.

I'm so happy to have her in my life, and the contrast between the two experiences between Emmy and Stacia was enough to show me that I really don't need "friends" like the latter in my life. I have been told that many a time through family and even emails from readers, but just like always, I needed to learn it myself- No matter how beaten up I get in the process.

So I say again, I am well and truly done with Stacia.

Like, for realz.

I think I might actually deserve better.

Ooh Boy

The first day back after a long break is always the busiest, and Monday was no exception. Mostly everyone was pretty nice and complimentary about my new style and such.

But really, I thought I got attention before. Adding Breasts to the equation has created some kind of exponentially elevating Creepzoid behavior to appear in the "opposite" sex while in my vicinity. I mean, I knew on an abstract level how creepy guys could be, and have experienced a little of it in the past.

But wow- it's a wonder all women aren't lesbians, or aren't killing each other for the few 'Good Guys' out there.

Maybe I'm just in a mood because one of the guests keeps loitering in the lobby, occasionally asking some sort of inane question before asking, with this dead panned, droning voice, if I'd take my shirt off.

Or the guy who looked through the floor to ceiling windows outside the office, and used his index and middle finger to point at his eyes, and then point at me before skulking away. "I'm watching you"? Really? That's the mention you want to convey to a complete stranger?

Then on the other side of the scale are the one's that aren't so forward. Though they'd barely look at me before, now everyone wants to know about my family and where I grew up. I hear old lines like "When did you fall out of Heaven?"

And that's just half-way through a Wednesday American Work Day.

Ugh, well, apologies.

I didn't mean for my first full entry back home to be a bitch session. And though I'm probably coming off as irate, I'm pretty subdued. I realize that most women have learned to deal with this since their early teens, and I've just been thrown in the deep end. Imagine an Amish 80 year old needing to pass a computer course.

Sure, I'm a little overwhelmed, but that's just because it's new, and I have no doubt that I'll eventually adapt. That's what we do, afterall. I just have to tread carefully and do my homework.

Since I wasted my alloted space on this little rant, I'll try to have something more robust and intellectually stimulating in my next entry.

Home!

Sorry for the late posting- I've just been trying to readjust to city life back in the States.

Just checking in to let everyone know I made it back alright. I'll make a full entry when I have some more time.