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11/30/2003

Well I spent Thanksgiving with Dad's family. It was more uneventful than I thought it would be. I did end up drinking a little more than I had initially planned, but that shouldn't be too much of a surprise.

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Many many moons ago, back before Project: Transition, back on my old 'site', I made a comment akin to: "We can put a man on the moon, but we haven't put timers on disposable cameras yet." Hehe, guess I was just ahead of my time. (Though that tripod looks kind of stupid...)

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V-Day!


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Oh, and as a little sidenote...

After almost three years since beginning this whole transitioning business, on November 25th I started living fulltime.

It's kind of silly attaching a date to it. I mean, fulltime is such a fluid concept. I'm not wearing makeup and skirts all the time, and don't plan to. All I can say is I've thrown away my guy voice and gave away a large portion of my old clothes.

I didn't announce it right away because I wanted a few days to just gauge my thoughts and feelings and not worry about summing it all up for a journal entry.

I'm happy, and I can say without a doubt that I'm glad I started on this road three years ago.

So far everyone's been supportive. My cousin said she liked my hair (I got a new cut recently- had some bangs and highlights added.) Aunt is cool, Dad's alright, grandparents...eh, well, they're not exactly for it but they understand it's my life.

I'd like to thank everyones continued support over the years, and all the wonderful emails. You helped me more than you may realize.

Of course, the transition isn't over yet. I'm not shuting down the site or anything, and will continue updating on a weekly basis (or so).

Tons more to do, but for now, the next year will be my little vacation. It'll be for experiencing the here and now without worrying about planning for the next steps.

11/20/2003

Blah. I've really felt under the weather for the past week or so, but I think I'm starting to get better. Woke up this morning feeling relativly refreshed.


I finally got that damn Birth Certificate. The office I picked it up at seemed to be a transsexual mecca, though I wasn't surprised.

The certificate had my new name, to boot. It's a very cool feeling;- almost like I was 'born again'. Course, there's still that pesky 'M', but that'll get changed soon enough.

And now I just need to get that Passport. Cutting it awfully close...

11/10/2003

There was a series of "80's Strike Back" specials on VH1, and I was disgusted that I actually remembered most of the stuff they showed.

God I'm old.

Not doing much tonight, just playing around with Microsoft Word. And unfortunatly I will never be a writer.

The idea is always so much better than what I can put on paper, my subpar skills just don't do them any justice. Not that they really deserve any in the first place.

Why am I talking about this? What am I doing?

Blah, I'm in one of Those Moods again. But I'm not drunk, thank you very much. I've been very good lately. Clean and sober for weeks now.

I don't have a problem.




Can you believe what people are naming their children nowadays?

Reading that prompted me to wonder what I'd like to name my kids. And then I remember I'm not having any. And than I was thinking 'Why not?'

I don't want, and can't, father any kids myself, but maybe someday in the far, far future when I've settled down I might adopt. If I even can. I'm not sure how that whole process works.

lol, yeah, I'd make a GREAT parent... Someone would have to be crazy to give me a kid.


K, moving on- I've discovered a new hobby: Cycling and bike maintenance, of all things. At first the bike was just a cheap means to an end, but I actually enjoy fixing the thing up.


So what sparked this meaningless entry about nothing? Not sure. I think I'm just typing for the sake of typing, probably as a way to reduce anxiety.

Now, I'm not having an anxiety attack, I'm just feeling the normal butterflies. Except these are mutant, killer butterflies. With laser guns.

Fulltime is a pretty big deal, and it can get nerve-racking when you realize exactly what that means. What it entails. It's a major life changing event, when you exchange your social role. Sure, the old one's unwanted, but at least it's familiar.

And the number one cause of fear is the unfamiliar, the unknown.

Plus, I've planned a world trip around this?

Yeah, I'm a little nervous. No, I don't know what I'm doing- I lost the manual. Yes, I'm still going through with everything. A good part of this antsy feeling is good ole' fashion excitement.

Assuming everything doesn't come crashing down, I'm looking forward to see what the next year holds.

11/07/2003

I called about my Birth Certificate in mid-October, and was told the same thing as the last time I called- It takes 6-8 weeks for processing.

Technically that time was up Oct. 28th, but I let it go 'til Nov 3rd before calling again.

I was than informed that the certificate was ready a month ago, but they couldn't send it without getting a copy of my Name Change Order.

*blink* And they couldn't have sent a letter or told me this when I called before?! Damn bureaucracy!

Fortunatly though, it's not that big of a problem. I just have to go to the court house to pick up a copy, and then drive it down to the Department of Records (2 hours away...) and they'll give me the certificate on the spot.

So I should have all that done by next week. I was getting stressed out because I have a non-refundable plane ticket for Dec. 15th, but it looks like things are starting to get back on track.



Stereotypes are curious entities. It's fascinating how the human brain automatically Assumes and Categorizes, but it sure can get annoying.

Like when Grandpa was telling me that he watched 'Chicago' on TV last week. He didn't care for it, but he was sure I "Thoroughly enjoyed it."

I haven't even SEEN 'Chicago', and at any rate I'm not a big fan of musicals.

And the other day Dad asked if I could use my talents in home decoration to help spice up his house.

WHAT talent? I don't know the first thing about any of that crap.

I was expecting it, so I'm not sure why it bothers me so much. I guess it's because I'm going through a lot of trouble to dig out the real person inside of me, and no one seems to want to get to know her. If they did they'd see she's still mostly me.

Well, it could be worse. It's not really that big of a deal. Just thought I'd mention it.

11/05/2003

Arg. I just spent an hour penning a new entry and the damn things crashes. Blah. I'm spent. I'll update later.